An Improbable Proposal
by QAFfangirl
Summary: Post 513 story takes us several years after the completion of the series. Focus on Brian and Justin's relationship. Alternates in POV from Brian to Justin.
1. Chapter 1

Brian

It had been a year since a distraught nineteen year old Molly Taylor had shown up at Britin on a cold, rainy Pittsburgh night. Justin was in his studio painting. I was working out when I heard the doorbell. I was expecting Lindsay with Gus, so when I saw the petite blond with Justin's smile, I was speechless.

"Molly?" I managed to get out, not hiding my surprise.

"Hi Brian, I'm sorry to disturb you. Um, is my brother here", she was clearly nervous.

"Yeah, come in. I'll get him", I offered opening the door wider.

To my knowledge Justin hadn't seen his sister since his mother's funeral. Jennifer died of breast cancer almost three years ago and Molly was already estranged from her having lived with Craig after her parent's divorce, she had grown into one hell of a queer hater at that time. I knew things were desperate if she showed up on our door. Justin had just gotten to New York and was making a splash on the art scene when Jennifer received her diagnosis. Molly had refused to see her at first but from what Justin said when he moved back to take care of her, his mom had made peace with her. She refused to come to our home where Jennifer was staying but she was a regular visitor at the hospital and had said her good-byes. I couldn't imagine what brought her to Britin.

I bound up the stairs to the studio, taking two steps at a time.

"Justin", I called out over his music. "Justin"

"What?" Justin didn't stop working on his canvas to look at me. Annoyed I was interrupting his creative flow, he shouted, "Is Gus here?"

I stared at his beautiful blue eyes and grabbed his shoulders to get his attention. "No not yet. You have a visitor though." I paused to kiss him deeply. "Molly is here."

With those three words, our lives changed. Molly had enough of Craig. She refused to go home. She needed a place to stay for a few nights. A few nights turned into a year. She wanted to start college but Craig, as expected, refused to pay if Molly didn't cut Justin out of her life. It had been an adjustment.

At least three months into her stay, she still cringed at any displays of affection between Justin and me. I was getting irritated as Justin was turning me away more and more trying to make it more comfortable for her. Finally after Christmas, she walked in on us going at it in our kitchen and I don't think she's eaten at the table since. Finally, I had enough. I explained to her if she was going to live with us, and we were glad she was here, she needed to accept that occasionally she was going to see us fucking. She burst out laughing. She explained she was over the gay thing, it was the seeing her brother have sex thing, that made her uncomfortable.

After that we had settled into a routine. Molly was working at Kinnetik as a receptionist; she had enrolled in community college. Justin would paint during the day while we were out of the house and we would take her clubbing or to the bars on the weekends. She was making friends and was leaving us alone in the house more and more to go out on her own.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

"Daphne", I called over the crowd. "You're here!" I ran up to my oldest friend at the airport. Daphne had been traveling for the past four months and I had missed her.

"Oh my God", she embraced me. "It's so good to see you".

I grabbed her bags and walked out to the car. "I want to hear everything"

"First lunch please. I've missed American food."

"The diner?" I offered

She nodded and launched into her travel stories without taking a breath. Once we grabbed a booth at the diner she finally took a break. "Hey, how's Brian. Doesn't he have a birthday coming up?"

I laughed; Brian never acknowledged his birthday and this one in particular might need ignored by all under penalty of death. "Yeah, the big 4-0" I was practically whispering.

I told her all about Molly and Brian. I gave her the rundown on the gang. Lindsay and Melanie and the kids were all good. Still living in the same place a block from Michael and Ben they bought when they moved back from Toronto. Ben was good, on a new regimen and about to publish his fourth book. Michael had bought a second comic store near their neighborhood which Hunter manages. I went on and on about how great Gus was doing and how much we loved having him close by. He practically spent every weekend with us at Britin.

When we were nearly done, Daphne got very serious. "Justin, have you and Brian ever talked about having kids?"

"We do have a kid", I clarified, "I've known Gus since he was born, and he's like my son as much as Brian's."

"I know, but I mean a kid of your own". She smiled. "You know I would carry it for you, you just have to ask."

I just stared at her. I had never considered it before and I could just hear Brian's response now. I mean it would be a dream just to get legally married to Brian, let alone have a baby with him.

"Thanks Daphne. I really appreciate the offer but there's no way Brian would go for full-time parenting."

We left the diner and headed to drop her off at her apartment but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I loved kids and to have one with the man I love would be a dream. Brian had said he would do anything, be anything, to prove to me how much he loved me once. Maybe he still would?

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

When Sunshine walked in from picking up Daphne, he was paler than usual. His blond hair showed tale-tell signs of having hands run through it repeatedly. If I didn't know better I would think he had been out with a trick. "What's the matter dear?"

"Huh?" Justin stared at me with that adorable blank look. "What?"

I smirked, "You okay? You look like you were fucking your brains out all afternoon instead of with Daphne" I went to hug him and inhaled his scent, searching for the after-sex aroma. I sighed relief upon finding nothing. I kissed him deep on the mouth, my tongue searching for unfamiliar taste.

"Brian, stop", he pulled away.

"If you tell me you're going to take a shower, we have a problem"

"It's nothing like that", he paused running his own hand through his hair.

Well that explains the hair, sighing, I offered a less forceful, more welcoming kiss which he responded to.

He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me close; I could feel his cock growing hard against me. I pulled back and looked at him. "This is a nice surprise" I grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom. Wasting no time, I pushed him back to the bed, and sprung his hard cock from the confines of his pants. In one movement, kneeling and taking him fully into my mouth. My tongue was working him furiously and he tried halfheartedly to object before moaning loudly and spurting hot cum down the back of my throat. I undressed and positioned myself in between his legs. Leaning over him, kissing him and grabbing a condom. I used the cum still covering his softening cock to lube him, rubbing my cock on the outside of his hole, waiting for him to relax. With one stroke, I filled his tight ass with my cock. Pausing a minute for him to catch his breath. He called out my name in a slow sexy voice wrapping his legs tightly around me. I began to stroke in and out of him, feeling his hole squeeze my throbbing cock. He always feels so wonderful, just as tight as the first time. I angled myself to hit his prostate and the change made a noticeable difference as his cock filled again, pushing against my stomach. I lowered my torso so to increase the friction. He started begging, "Fuck me harder", I increased the speed in which I was pounding him quickly bring me to my climax. I kept going as best I could, reaching down, using one hand to pinch his nipple and the other to steady myself. I felt the hot liquid hit my chest and knew Justin had cum a second time for me. I collapsed on him and pulled out, removing the condom and kissing him hard on the mouth.

"Damn Brian, that was amazing", Justin had an ear-to-ear grin lighting up the room.

"I aim to please", I whispered.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I dosed off after sex that afternoon and had a dream. Brian and I were spending Christmas in the Bahamas relaxing by the pool, fucking our brains out in the private cabana when all of a sudden we hear a baby crying. Brian won't stop fucking me, he's not even a bit concerned. Then the noise stops and we hear a woman scream. There's a dead baby in the pool, she drowned. It's our baby. Brian isn't even fazed. I woke up in a cold sweat.

Brian came back from the bathroom, I didn't hide my disappointment he showered without me. "About time you woke up, sleepy-head. Molly will be home soon. What do you want for dinner?" he asked me.

Finally, I can't stand it. I have an overwhelming need to know how he feels. "Brian, do you ever think about having a baby?"

"I did", he paused "haven't you met Gus?" he laughed.

"Brian listen", "Are you listening to me?" I change my tone to show him I am serious.

"Yes I am listening" Brian looked at me with those piercing eyes, his mouth slightly open. I could tell he was nervous as hell.

"I love Gus, you know that but I want a family, a baby that's ours that we raise together. I need to know. Will you ever be able to make that level of commitment? I need to know if you're open to it at some point."

"Sunshine I'm almost…" He stopped unable to say forty pausing to reconsider his objections. "Do you know what that would mean to our lifestyle; do you how much things would change?"

"Yes, I know but I'm ready…I'm 28 now and I want kids….at least one…with you." I placed my hand on Brian's cheek drawing him in close to kiss him. I paused staring deeply into his eyes before our lips touched. I knew that look; it was in the Brian Kinney revised operating manual. I knew that was the "I want to do anything to make you happy look".

"Just promise me, you'll think about it seriously" I offered pulling away from the embrace.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I pulled up to the Kinnetik offices still in a daze. I hadn't slept well since my conversation with Justin two days ago. I opened the doors to my office glad to get my mind off it. Cynthia was at my desk, organizing my day as she was prone to do for me.

"Good Morning Boss", she smiled looking up at me. "Jesus, what's wrong?"

"What, nothing, I'm fine" I offered a weak reassuring smile. "How's my day look?"

"You have a meeting with Angel Baby in about 30 minutes."

"Angel Baby?" I picked up the folder on my desk to familiarize myself with the account. Great! An upscale children's boutique chain but potentially a 25 million dollar account.

During the meeting, the word baby was said over 400 times. I tried multiple times to avoid using the word but it was unavoidable. So much for my plan to get my mind off the subject. I left the meeting having secured their new campaign but I didn't feel like celebrating. Honestly, I didn't want to raise a kid. I couldn't be a full-time dad. As much as I loved Gus, I loved that Linz and Mel took all the responsibility. I stepped in, planned fun dad-son weekends on occasion, went to his little league games when my schedule allowed but really parenting? That was not for me. As sure as I was, I was equally sure that Justin would be devastated. He might even decide that he needed to leave me again. He was no longer my adoring teenage lover following my every lead, he was a man. He knew what he wanted, what he needed to be happy. I was dreading the conversation, but I needed to tell him.

I called Linz to see how Gus was doing. She immediately picked up on my stress. I hadn't planned to but I ended up telling her everything about Justin wanting to have a baby. She laughed her gentle laugh and told me the story of her and Melanie deciding to have Gus. I knew Melanie wasn't thrilled especially since Lindsay had insisted I be the baby's father; Mel had preferred to use an anonymous donor. The fact that Mel didn't really want a baby at first is a surprise to me. Lindsay explained how Melanie had all the same objections that I was raising. The change in lifestyle, the sacrifices that we would have to make, but eventually Melanie had seen what it had meant to Lindsay and by the time Gus arrived she was over the moon. It will be just like when Gus was born, she reassured me. "Once you see your child, you will be instantly in love", she promised "but because this time you will be bringing that child into the world with the person you love it will be even more special, more meaningful."

I drove home to Britin. It was almost an hour drive in traffic, I had plenty of time to think and my mind was racing. Lindsay's words kept swirling in my head. I needed to see Justin, I need to look into his eyes and know what to do.

I walked in to see Molly and Justin on the couch in the family room. They were talking intently and Molly looked red-faced like she had been crying.

"What's the matter?" I asked to both of them.

"Molly got in to Penn" Justin started to explain, "but she didn't get the scholarship and Dad won't help".

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

Brian and I were in our bathroom, getting undressed, ready to take our evening shower. I was mildly annoyed that he was distracted and not his usual flirtatious self. He hadn't noticed I was hard after seeing him undress. His body still gave me instant wood. He wasn't even looking at me. I got in the shower hoping he would share what was bothering him. I grabbed the soap and started working my hands over his back and neck. He leaned over, his head against the shower door. My cock grew harder as I massaged him and it was pressing against him. He turned to look at me finally.

"You want me to suck you off?" he offered, reaching down to grab me, stroking me slowly but intently.

"You don't want to fuck tonight?, I asked searching him for clues.

"Tonight is all about you, what do you want?" Brian said in his most suggestive voice making a rare offer, putting everything on the table, including letting me top. He turned off the shower and opened the door.

Sex was Brian's greatest distraction, he could avoid a multitude of problems with it and I knew he needed distracting from whatever he needed to tell me. "Why don't you suck me off and then fuck me?" I offered, taking the towel from the towel rack and drying him off taking the time to encourage his hard on.

He walked me over to the bed, kissing at my neck and grabbing my hair. I loved his passion; even after all the times we fucked there was never any lack of intensity in our love-making. He pushed me to the bed and started working my cock over with his mouth. It was so hot, feeling his lips squeeze me, his tongue exploring the underside of my shaft with a constant rhythm of deep thrusting; I exploded erupting several streams of hot cum down his throat. As soon I finished, he grabbed my legs thrusting them onto his shoulders and probing my hole with his now fully engorged cock.

I took a deep breath, bracing for the pain and pleasure of his entry. He rammed me hard, entering me quickly and filling me completely. "You like that" he whispered into my ear before kissing me with his tongue probing into my mouth.

"Yes", I whispered back.

"You like feeling me inside you raw?" he continued, his talk getting me more worked up.

"Yes" I responded pulling his head back by his hair. "I want you so much"

He picked up his rhythm slamming me hard. I let a moan escape my lips and that only encouraged him more. His body was shaking, his lips tightened, and his eyes closed. He was so beautiful when he was climaxing. He filled my ass with his hot liquid and melted on top of me. I shifted to support his weight as he let his body fall on mine as he does. He grabbed my hair and caressed it. He kissed my neck and earlobe. I waited to hear the words. "I love you Sunshine". Brian never said them easily but when we were really connected he would always say them. I grew to count on them.

He rolled off me and turned on his side facing me after grabbing and lighting his cigarette. I rolled over to face him, rubbing my arm over his muscular chest circling his nipple with my finger. "So how do you want to do this?" he asked.

I stared at him confused. "You want to go again, already?"

"No, even I need a little more recovery time than that." He smiled. "How do you want to have a baby, just in case you weren't aware, we are missing some key ingredients?"

"Are you serious", I choked out finally, my mouth open wide in shock.

"You said to think about it, to think about it, I need to know what you're thinking" Brian rolled back on his back and pulled me close to him so I snuggled under his arm and he was rubbing my back.

"I don't know" I admitted, I hadn't gotten that far.

"Well did you want to be the biological father or did you want me to?" Brian continued "I'm not sure I can after my cancer."

"I thought the doctor said your fertility wouldn't be affected", I replied, alarmed by the thought.

"Well not by the surgery but the radiation might be a problem" he started, "Sunshine I'm not making any decisions mind you, I just am curious how you wanted to carry out this miracle of modern times".

"What about if we both give and see what nature has in store" I offered.

Brian stared at me before asking the obvious question, "Did you have a mother in mind?"

I told him about Daphne's offer. "I'm not sure if that's the right decision though."

"Why not", he asked, clearly surprised.

"Jesus Brian, I don't have all the answers; I honestly never thought you would even discuss it", I said a little too harshly.

"That makes two of us", he said closing his eyes and sighing.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

"I can't explain it Lindsay. I had a totally calm discussion about having a baby with Justin and didn't freak out." I was sitting with Linz on the park bench watching Gus's soccer practice.

"Well it's only taken 40 years but you're finally a grown up Peter" Lindsay laughed. "So how are you going to do it?"

"Well I wanted to talk to you about that", I started before she cut me off.

"Oh Brian, you aren't going to ask me to be the mother are you?" I failed to see why she was so amused.

"Well I helped you out, thought maybe you might return the favor", I reminded her.

"Brain, I'm forty. You might have missed your window with me" Lindsay said while patting my leg "There's so much risk with pregnancy at my age not for me but for the baby. You're going to need to find younger eggs but I would carry the baby for you, if Melanie agrees."

"Don't bring your husband into this yet, Justin and I haven't made any decisions. I am not sure I even want to do this" I relented kicking myself for not realizing that Lindsay was my age. She still looked amazing for forty.

"Sure thing Daddy", she smiled.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

It had been a week since Brian and I discussed having a baby. I was dying to talk to someone about it but I couldn't bring myself to turn to Daphne. As generous as her offer was, my dream was to have a baby that looked like Brian and me. I wasn't sure how but I wanted to see ourselves reflected back. Daphne and I would make a beautiful baby, but it wouldn't be Brian's smile or his chin staring back.

I headed to the comic book store to meet Michael. He was hiring a new illustrator for Rage finally and wanted me to meet him. I was just too busy with my painting now to keep up the comic book. I still plan to look over the art before the release and Michael still insisted on my input which I was happy to give.

I walked into the store and saw Michael talking to the candidate. He introduced me and I took the man's portfolio. Michael continued talking, not letting me have a word in edgewise. While they spoke I checked the man out. He was about Brian's age, well dressed, thin but athletically built. He has a rainbow bracelet peeking out from his suit jacket. Another queer, of course he would be, not many straight artists willing to draw graphic sex between two men. I admired the man's ass and smiled as I thought to myself how he looked familiar. He was probably one of Brian's tricks back in the day. In a town the size of Pittsburgh, it was not unusual to run into one of my or Brian's former lovers especially with the closeness of the LGBT community. If the man recognized me, he didn't let on and the interview ended. After he was gone I tried to talk to Michael, who was being as stubborn as ever.

"He's good", Michael stated. "Did you like him?"

"Yes, he's good", I relented, "but there's a part of me that doesn't want to give up control."

"Well, I would love if you still drew Rage but getting your time has been a bit challenging what with you and Brian living in the middle of nowhere, plus Molly and your other art keeping you so busy." Michael was realistic.

"I need the income from Rage, I count on it and we will lose readers if we can't get issues out on a regular basis, this needs a full-time person now." Michael continued to justify his decision to bring in another artist more to himself than to me.

"I know, I know and life might get even busier for me soon". I teased. I knew Michael would understand.

"What? You get a new commission project?", he asked putting some new inventory on the racks.

"No, we might have a baby", I smiled.

He laughed thinking exactly what I had, that Brian Kinney would never, ever agree to have a kid he actually became responsible for raising.

"I'm serious, we are talking about it", I clarified.

"YOU ARE? HE IS?, Oh my God, that's fucking unbelievable.", he stopped what he was doing to give me a hug.

"I know! I couldn't believe it when he agreed to talk about it. We haven't decided yet, just talking but still. It's more than I ever thought possible with him."

"What are you going to do about the mother, a surrogate?" Michael asked.

I sighed, "Not sure yet, we haven't even decided if, let alone how, we would do it"

"You know Ben and I talked about having a baby together but..." Michael said slowly.

"I'm sorry", I interrupted, "I should have kept my mouth shut. I didn't mean to bring up anything painful" I apologized for forgetting that Ben and Michael couldn't have a child together, no surrogate would allow for a HIV positive parent.

"No, it's not a sore subject", he reassured me; "We asked Ben's sister if she would donate an egg and we would use my sperm so the baby would be ours and have the same grandparents etc. She turned us down. We didn't pursue it after that. Ben wasn't that wild about using a stranger."

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I came home to an empty house. There was a note on the counter from Justin that Molly was out with friends and he was meeting with an art gallery about a new show opportunity. I grabbed some dinner and wandered into the office to do a little work. I was pouring over the Angel Baby mock-ups when I felt Justin's hand on my shoulder. "Hi Baby", I said before I turned to kiss him.

"Hi, long day?" He asked nodding to my stack of papers and taking off his jacket.

"Yes, what do you think? I showed him the baby models we were using, "cute huh?"

"Anything to get you thinking about babies", he smiled.

"Well if you want to win me over, I know what might do the trick" I said moving his hand to my crotch. Justin grabbed me and pulled in closer, kissing me. "If that's all it took to get you to do something, I would have had everything I ever wanted a long time ago".

"Molly will be home soon. Let's go upstairs", he grabbed my hand leading the way.

"See, if we have a kid there would be no more blowjobs anywhere the mood strikes us" I half-heartedly rationalized, he persisted in kissing me as we walked upstairs to the bedroom.

Once inside, I enjoyed quite the passionate blowjob. Afterwards, Justin got up to turn on the shower instead of lying in bed with me.

"How was your meeting, did you get the show?" I asked feeling bad that it had taken me so long to see how his day had gone.

"Oh didn't I tell you, yes I got seven pieces. I only have four done, so I will need your inspiration for the other three." He smiled. Justin always got very turned on when he was creating new art on a deadline, his last show left my dick sore for a month.

"Well I better start carbo-loading now." I grabbed his small waist and moved into the shower with him. He was soaping me and I started to get hard again. Justin looked down and without missing a beat turned around to expose his perfect ass to me. I rubbed against his backside probing him, teasing his hole with my fingers to open him up for me. I slid my cock into him and breathed in the aroma of his shampoo and soap. Our bodies were sliding with perfect timing and the hot water running down his back was so erotic. He had reached around grabbing my lower hip pulling me deeper into him, speeding up the franticness of each thrust. He cried out as he came, the sound put me over the edge and I was spilling into him.

After we cleaned up and were lying back in bed, he turned to me. "Brian, I've been thinking."

"Always a dangerous thing" I responded as he tickled my side to show his annoyance with this now predictable response.

"I want you to father our baby, but I want to ask Molly if she would donate the egg and maybe serve as the surrogate. That way the baby will still be part of me and my mom would still have been the grandmother. She would have loved that."

"Sunshine," I smiled and kissed him. Continuously surprised by how the thought of a baby with Justin was no longer causing me to panic, "No promises but I might be warming up to this"

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I melted into Brian's arms that night. I cuddled into him and listened to his breathing as he fell asleep. I let myself start to imagine life with him and our baby. I had a dream that night that we were looking over a crib at our daughter. She had Brian's dark hair and my blue eyes. I watched as Brian picked up our daughter and cradled her in his arms. He sat in the rocking chair and told me how much he loved me. When I woke up we were still in the same positions as we fell asleep except Brian was awake stroking my hair.

"You have a pretty big grin on your face this morning" he said, reaching down to assess my morning wood.

"I had a great dream", I said stretching.

"Oh, I want a name and position", he said stroking my cock firmly now.

"It wasn't that kind of dream. You were holding our daughter and we were blissfully happy"

He stopped stroking me and grabbed my chin. He kissed me and pressed against me, half on top of me.

"Sunshine, I hate to burst your bubble, but we aren't asking for a small favor, this is huge. She could say no. After your dad's influence, she will likely say no."

"I know" my smile faded. "Can we at least talk to her about it?"

Brian nodded yes but the way Brian looked at me, I was scared. I could tell he was so in love and wanted to do anything for me. I hadn't seen that face since the night I left for New York and we made love for what we thought might be the last time. It was the face he made when he was about to sacrifice what he wanted, for what I wanted.

"Are you sure?" I asked rubbing his cheek, "I want you to be sure this is what you want too".

He paused at first but then in his most loving and reassuring voice said "Justin, if you want to have a baby, I want you to have that experience. I love having Gus, seeing your child, there's nothing like it. But are you sure you don't want to be the father? We can use a surrogate and the baby can be yours biologically. I would love it because it's part of you."

"Are you saying you want to have a baby with me? I asked, my heart leaping for joy.

"Yes that's what I am saying, but I have one condition"

"And what's that?" I prepared myself for the letdown of what I assumed to be a ridiculous condition.

"I'm a good Catholic boy", he joked with a knowing smile, "we should get married before we have a baby".

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I hadn't planned to propose again to Justin, it was really a spontaneous declaration.

After he returned from New York to take care of his mom, we had discussed going through with the wedding but it was a bad time and gay marriage was still not legal in Pennsylvania so it seemed less important than just being together as partners, as we were before. We slowly progressed from rules about fucking other people on our own, to only fucking other men together, to not really wanting to fuck other men. Justin would still make an occasional suggestion about him or I going to the back room or VIP lounge at Babylon for a blowjob or hand job or just to watch and jack off, but it never seemed to appeal to me when he proposed it and so much to my amazement, I became for the most part monogamous preferring Justin alone to a random trick. It was about two years ago when we had both realized we hadn't been with anyone else in over six months and after our routine HIV tests were negative, we started fucking without condoms and the monogamy was just implied.

I searched in the safe for the rings, the ones I bought for the wedding so many years ago. I never could bring myself to return them. I ran my fingers over the bands. If Justin and I are going to have a kid, I want to make sure we were together for life and more importantly that he and the baby would be protected should anything happen to me.

I walked into work the day after my proposal and called my attorney to set up a meeting with Ted. If fags can't get married in good old Pennsylvania, then we would have to legally entwine ourselves in other ways. I asked my lawyer to draw up some documents. I asked Ted for a run-down of my financial picture and I did what I had come to find increasingly easier to do over the last ten years, I made Justin my top priority.

It was my fortieth birthday, what better day to start facing life as a grown man?


	2. Chapter 2

Justin

I hung up the phone with Emmett just after five in the evening. Everything was pretty well set. I had planned a low-key dinner for Brian's birthday followed by an evening of debauchery. I reminded all: no happy birthdays, no mention of his age, no presents, cards, tokens, gag gifts or other symbolic ways of celebration. It would be just a simple dinner for the two of us followed by drinks at Woody's and the run of the mill night at Babylon with our closest friends. I was sure Brian would be in a depressed mood leading up to his birthday but he came home cheerful.

"What's all this?" Brian asked taking off his suit jacket and laying his briefcase down on the kitchen table.

"Just dinner", I reassured him, "Want a taste?" I offered him a sample off the spoon I was using to stir the cream sauce.

He grabbed my hips and kissed my forehead before tasting the sample. "Mmm, that's good. Is it a new recipe from Michael?"

"No", I replied as I continued chopping vegetables for the salad. "This one was my mom's. Fettuccine Alfredo"

"Did you have a good day?", I proceeded to ask treading carefully but with a smile that showed him I remembered his birthday but was honoring his wishes to ignore it.

"Better now", he nodded at me to acknowledge this unspoken subtext. "I met with Ted about my money today, so that always puts me in a good mood."

"Really?" Brian and I rarely spoke about money. I understood that he did well. He paid for all the household expenses and our vacations; it was rare he let me pay for much. I had considerable savings from having virtually no expenses over the last few years so I paid for my car, my art supplies, personal travel, health insurance and the occasion grocery store trip or dinner out. I had long ago repaid the money he loaned me for school.

"Yes dear", he laughed as he poured himself and me a glass of wine. "I made some decisions today" he said offering me the wine.

"Thinking of making a big purchase to mark the big day?" I cringed the second the words left my mouth, kicking myself for mentioning his birthday.

He stared at me, a half-smile escaping his lips. He took a long sip of his wine, ran his hand through his hair before loosening his tie and slipping it over his head. "What big day are you referring to?"

I paused before responding "Just the day when I agreed to marry you, again, of course."

With that he smiled, walked over to me, pulled me close to his chest so my head was resting on his shoulder and his arms were around me tight. "Now that is something I would like to celebrate", he whispered to me.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

Dinner was good, very good. Justin had become a fantastic chef. We spent most of the dinner talking about his upcoming art exhibit. He had a brilliant idea for a new piece and he lit up when describing it to me. I didn't want to interrupt his attempt to avoid talking about my birthday, I was relishing it.

"Justin, I love you", I finally interjected. "Do you know how much I love you?"

I got up to clear the table, stopping to kiss the top of his head on my way to the kitchen.

He followed me into the kitchen carrying more dishes before asking "What was that for?"

"What do you mean; can't I tell you how much I love you at random spontaneous moments?" I asked pushing my lips together nervously like I always do when faced with moments of non-sexual intimacy.

"You can, and I love that you did, but it's a little out of character", he responded rubbing my back as I bent to place the dishes in the dishwasher.

"I made some decisions today. I want to talk to you about them". I answered hoping he wouldn't notice I was changing the subject.

"Can it wait?" he asked, "We need to get showered and changed to meet the guys for drinks at Woody's"

"We have plenty of time" I said while looking at my watch, "It's only eight".

"Yes, but I have plans for you before we go out". He grabbed my waist with one hand and started unbuckling my belt with the other. He led me over to the family room, pulled my pants down and knelt before me. He started running his tongue on my stomach slowly kissing along my navel working his way down. He inserted his fingers between my skin and the waistband of my underwear pulling them down over my ass and letting my hardening dick spring free. I braced myself for the warmth of his mouth but instead he finished pulling my pants off and unbuttoning my shirt until I was completely naked. He instructed me to lie down on our couch but when I started to lie on my back he corrected me.

"No, lie on your stomach", I gave him a nervous glance. I wasn't prepared to bottom tonight. "Trust me", he said kissing me deeply as he encouraged me to roll over.

I felt vulnerable, laying naked on our couch my ass in the air. I took in the sensations, the coolness of the leather against my stomach and now rock hard cock, the electricity of anticipation.

Justin straddled me, running his hands firmly on my neck and shoulders. He took a bottle of what I thought might be lube but turned out to be scented oil and started working it into my back and neck muscles. The scent was lavender; it was surprisingly relaxing and erotic, his massage felt wonderful. I moaned as Justin's strong artist hands worked his way to my lower back. He continued in this fashion for close to a half hour, massaging my scalp, neck, back and arms, pausing to lean over and place soft kisses along the way. He stopped and repositioned himself lower on my upper thighs and started working the massage down to my buttocks. He leaned over pulling apart my cheeks and running his tongue along the path to my hole. He started applying more pressure as he darted his tongue in my opening. My ass opened to him. The sensation drove me crazy. Justin rarely gave me a rim job and I was overwhelmed by the pleasure. My cock was pressing into the sofa and I badly wanted to turn around and fuck his brains out.

"Do you like that baby?" he asked reaching up to pull my hair back as he continued diving his tongue into my hole.

"God yes" I moaned, "It feels so good". You need to stop soon or I'm going to cum all over this couch.

With my warning he eased up and stood up, allowing me to sit up.

He stood in front of me smiling mischievously. He picked up the remote to turn on some music and slowly began removing his clothes. He sensually unbuttoned his shirt while moving his hips to the music. I reached down to stroke my own cock while I watched him. He turned around letting me see his ass as he pulled his pants to just above his crotch. He faced me again as I reached out to grab him, he slapped my hands away.

"Not yet", he teased, "let me do this".

I sighed, grasping my cock and taking in his strip tease.

He reached up and grabbed his own bulge, revealing the outline of his erection. He pulled his pants down and removed them and his underwear. He straddled me on the couch, positioning his tight pink hole above my aching hard on. He lowered himself slowly onto me. Holding my legs down discouraging me from trusting up into him; I leaned back and let him set the pace. He started riding me slowly, letting my cock fill him and rising up so that I almost slipped out before slamming back down onto me and rising back up again slowly. The intensity was mind-blowing. I watched his face as he continued to fuck me so slowly with his eyes closed. His expression as he moved so sexy that of wanting and pleasure. He no longer looked like a boy; his face had evolved into to a manly appearance even though he retained his beautiful twink body. His barely noticeable blond stubble of his five o'clock shadow rubbed my face as he leaned over kissing me passionately and biting my neck and earlobe. I grabbed him close, speeding up the cadence of his movements and encouraging him by shifting my hips upward to meet his thrust down on to me, the movement driving my cock as deeply as possible up him. I felt the twitching of my rising orgasm almost simultaneous with the wet sticky fluid of his cum covering my stomach and chest. I gasped and screamed out as I began erupting a hot flow of my cum into him.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

Brian's face was priceless as he stood up to kiss me. "Well that was fucking unbelievably hot", he said as he reached down picking up our clothes.

"You're not so bad yourself", I spanked his bare ass hard leaving a red mark briefly on his perfect backside.

"Ouch", he called out standing up abruptly. "Spanking is my job Sunshine"

We headed to our bedroom to clean up and shower; he playfully smacked my bare ass as we ascended the stairs to our room. "Knock it off", I said while laughing trying to block my ass with my clothes.

"I'm not kidding Justin, that was a-maz-ing!", Brian turned on the shower feeling the water to adjust the temperature. He grabbed his electric razor and started shaving his stubble. "That was just want I wanted for my birthday"

"You're welcome", I smiled at his acknowledging his birthday for the first time. "I do have a few small gifts for you since this is a special day."

"No gift, the rim job was more than enough", he insisted while pushing me gently into the shower, kissing me.

"Well then it's not for your birthday", I teased, "consider it a gift to mark the tenth anniversary of the day you saved my life".

With the mention of my bashing, Brian recoiled. We rarely acknowledged his birthday also marked this important event in our relationship and in my life. I had grown to feel more and more comfortable about talking about the bashing. Drawing it for Rage had been therapeutic and confronting Chris Hobbs that night has really given me closure but Brian still looked like he had been punched in the face when I brought it up.

"Sunshine", he said, "I don't want to talk about it". He changed the subject by kissing me and turning me around to soap my crack.

"Alright", I relented, "but you're still going to open your gifts when we're done and then we can go back to pretending it's not happening."

After the shower, I shaved and dressed with Brian. I left the bedroom while he tried on his twenty-first black shirt, turning to check himself out in the mirror after each one. I grabbed the gifts I had hidden in my studio and returned setting the smaller package on the bed and leaning the other package against the wall.

"Open this first", I said while picking up the small package.

Brian took it reluctantly and removed the wrapping paper revealing the Armani box. He lit up like the label queen he still was and opened the box, removing the tissue paper and holding up the shirt I purchased him. He held it up and smiled.

"This is the one I wanted from the Spring collection", he placed the shirt down and gave me a kiss to thank me.

"Now this one", I said gesturing to the package against the wall.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I looked at Justin's face while I removed the outer packaging to expose the back of a framed painting. I turned the painting around to reveal the canvas. "It's stunning", I remarked.

I examined it noticing Justin's signature in the corner and taking in the scene. It was the profile of an old man looking into a mirror but the reflection was of me, many years younger, lying on our bed in the old loft. I was carving an apple with a knife staring off looking deep in thought.

"When did you paint this?" I asked him. "It's not your usual style."

"I've been working on this for about a month" he answered going on to explain how he had the image of me saved from his computer. He had sketched it the night he started drawing again after giving it up following the bashing.

"You, you inspired me, that night, to draw again. You keep on inspiring me. I was speechless so he continued. "The old man is me", he explained. "No matter how old we get, I want you to know this is how I see you. Still young, still beautiful, still my inspiration."

"I have told you before I wouldn't be an artist if it wasn't for you" he continued looking deeply into my eyes, "It's not just because you paid for my school and supported me financially, or helped me through every dark moment in my life, or helped me be the best homosexual I could be, or encouraged me to follow my dreams but because every painting, sketch and doodle I have created since I was eighteen years old has been in some way inspired by you. I am alive because of you, I have this wonderful life because of you and I can't wait to call you my husband"

I couldn't think of any words to say what I was feeling so I cupped his face with my hands and placed my forehead to his. I matched his breathing and held there for a minute feeling his pulse beat in the same time as mine. I pulled back searching his face for the right words to express what his painting means to me, what he means to me and finding no words I pulled him in for a kiss. The kiss was soft and gentle. I pulled away to whisper into his ear, "I love you Sunshine". I retracted to see his face. I said it again more clearly, "I love you. Thank you. I love you."

After several minutes of intimate kissing we were reminded of the time when Molly returned home. The car door slammed in the driveway prompting Justin to check his watch. "Oh my God, we are so late to meet the guys." Justin said, "Finish getting ready, we have to hurry".

In the car on the way to the bar, I put my hand on Justin's thigh and he reached down taking my hand in his. We didn't hold hands very often but the emotional connection was so strong I needed a physical one to contain myself. He smiled at me showing appreciation for the gesture. We drove in silence for a while on the way back into Pittsburg. After a while, I broke the silence.

"I never finished telling you about the decisions I made", I said matter of fact.

"Oh yeah, what's going on" he asked.

"Well first, I saw my lawyer today", I continued to explain, "I changed my will so that if I die you will inherit everything, minus of course, what will go into a trust for Gus".

He looked at me blankly. I continued, "I also am giving you ownership in my businesses". You'll have a share of Kinnetic and be part owner of Babylon.

"Brian, I don't care about your money. You know that." he protested.

"I know but if we married legally, you would be entitled to what I have, should something happen." I said as insistently as possible trying to get him to accept my offer.

"Brian, I have saved a bit of money over the years, I can take care of myself." He protested again.

I continued to explain, "I also had the lawyer draw up medical power of attorney, I'm putting your name on the deed to Britin and there's other paperwork to add you to my financial accounts. We will have to go through and sign most of it together." Despite his continued protest, I was adamant that Justin have all the rights and powers that any legally married person would have for a spouse.

We pulled into the parking spot about a block from Woody's. I turned off the car and looked over. He did not look convinced. "Justin", I said, "Listen to me, it's important to me. If we were legally married, you would have this. I am wealthy; my net worth is over five million now. If I die, I need to make sure that the two most important people in my life, you and Gus, are protected. I don't want my hard-earned money going to the government or worse my degenerate sister or mother and I don't want the fact that we're queer to cause any problems for you. If I could buy a life insurance policy and leave you the beneficiary I would but because I've had cancer, I don't qualify so I am setting things up now. I should have done it a long time ago"

Justin nodded slowly, "OK, if it's important to you and you're sure. I will sign the papers." he looked down still uncomfortable with the idea. "Five million, huh?" He laughed as he said it clearly taken aback by the amount.

"And some change", I laughed and kissed him.

"Wait, you started this by saying "Well first…" was there more?", he glanced up at me.

"Actually yes, secondly, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor today", I continued, "I thought I would get a check-up. I think before we ask your sister if I can knock her up, we should make sure my swimmers were up to the job."


	3. Chapter 3

Brian

The first thing I noticed out-of-place was the sun shining intensely into the room. There is no unwanted sun in my bedroom; there were very expensive room-darkening shades that made sure of that. I reached my arm out and felt Justin's presence without opening my eyes. My head was throbbing. There was an unpleasant screeching noise coming from down the hall. "Daddy" the voice kept calling.

"What the fuck?" I exclaimed to no one in particular. "Where. The. Fuck. Are. We?"

With that Justin rolled over, "Don't you remember, we both got too drunk to drive, we came home with Michael and Ben."

"Oh, right", I said. The screeching voice must belong to J.R.

"Daddy, I can't find my ballet shoes. I _need_ them." the voice continued.

Loud footsteps up the stairs, a door slam, followed by a firm knock at the door and I was officially although unpleasantly awake.

"Jesus Christ, Come in", I called out in my most annoyed tone, simultaneously reaching over to cover our naked lower half's with what looked like a quilt. A god damn quilt! What has happened to Michael, I thought to myself. "Do you know what time it is?" I barked at Michael as he entered.

"Sorry guys", he said not really in an apologetic manner pulling the closet to the guest room open. "J.R. left her ballet shoes here and Mel is waiting to take her to class. Besides, it's afternoon."

Justin laughed before reassuring Michael, "It's ok, we need to get up and get home. I have to paint today if I'm going to make my deadline."

Looking at me, he gestured for me to hand him his underwear that was lying on the floor on my side of the bed. I reached over and tossed them at him. He waited for Michael to find the shoes and leave the room before kissing me and sliding them on.

"Not so fast Sunshine", I grabbed his arm as he was climbing out of bed. "You're going to have to do better than that".

He giggled and sat back down on the bed. He disappeared under the covers and went about taking care of me.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I glanced at the clock when we got home, shit it was after two already. I was going to have to work tonight instead of going to the movies with Molly as I had planned. As soon as we got home, Brian headed to the bedroom for a nap and I headed to the studio, stopping by Molly's room to tell her hello and apologize for canceling our plans.

I opened the door to the guest room after knocking gently but not really waiting for a response. "Oh fuck", I said loudly seeing a man's bare ass flash before me. I closed my eyes and shut the door hastily, leaving only a small crack. "Um sorry Mol", I choked out. "I didn't know you were…um…entertaining someone".

Molly could barely stop her embarrassed fit of laugher. "That's okay Justin; it's about time I repaid the favor".

I shut the door trying to banish the image of seeing some strange naked guy on top of my sister and headed to the studio.

Once in the safety of my studio, I reached for the old jeans and black t-shirt I always painted in, quickly changed and started my creative process. I had to complete three additional pieces for the upcoming show and working on Brian's painting had put me into a serious time crunch. I had strong ideas for the first two, but nothing had really formed for the third. I turned on my music and began sketching an outline for the first piece.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

It was almost four in the afternoon when I woke up from my nap. I could hear the slight hint of music coming through the walls that told me Justin was still painting. I grabbed a quick shower, popped a few more ibuprofen and changed. I looked at my reflection in the mirror unpleased with the image. A night out was taking longer, and longer to recover from. I rubbed anti-aging cream into my face and dotted some eye cream to hide the puffiness. Maybe I need to lay off the cigarettes.

I left the bedroom and headed downstairs to the kitchen. I was mildly amused to be greeted by an attractive stranger that judging by the football jersey and ill-fitting jeans, I gathered was a heterosexual. "Who the fuck are you?" I asked barely looking at him and grabbing a bottle of juice from the fridge.

"Hi, um I'm um Mark", he sputtered out. "You must be Brian".

"Well hi um Mark", I said giving him shit. "What the fuck are you um doing in my um house?"

"Knock it off Brian", Molly said entering the room and kissing me on the cheek.

Mark just stood there looking adorably uncomfortable and confused.

"Mark's just leaving", Molly grabbed his hand and walked him out. I peeked out the window to see Molly give Mark a passionate sendoff kiss. Damn, little Molly has a new beau, I thought to myself. I grew concerned this might complicate Justin's baby plans.

Molly re-entered the kitchen slightly red-faced and grabbed some water from the fridge.

"Hi Molly, have a good night last night?" I teased her.

"Yes, very good", she said suggestively. "Don't you think Mark is gorgeous?"

"He's not really my type", I responded.

Molly laughed, "Oh yeah, I seem to remember blond teenagers being exactly your type".

"I meant, he's not queer enough for me darling". I placed my hand on my hip in disapproval taking a sip of my juice. "Not that I haven't been known to convert a straight man on occasion".

"Hands off Brian", she warned, "that man is mine!"

Molly headed out to the pool to read leaving me alone in the downstairs. I didn't want to interrupt Justin so I grabbed my laptop and headed to the couch to check email.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I stopped painting when I noticed the natural light was all but gone from my studio. Painting only with artificial light frustrated me. I picked up my sketch pad and willed an idea for the third and final piece to start flowing from my hand. Nothing was coming to me and my hand was fairly fatigued after the hours of painting so I cleaned up my supplies and went to check on Molly and Brian.

I finally found them in the media room. A western, looked like "High Noon" was playing on the screen and they were ironically sharing a joint. I grabbed the joint from Brian and chastised him. "You need to lay off the pot mister, it can kill your….."

I paused seeing Brian's face panic at the almost mention of his sperm count in front of Molly before we had talked to her about the surrogacy. I quickly recovered, "….sex drive?" I plopped into Brian's lap and turned to see Molly's reaction.

"Really?" Molly asked. "I have never heard that before. It's never affected mine."

"Gross Mollusk", I said exasperated, "I don't want to hear about my little sister's sex drive. Let alone bear witness to it, so keep your tricks out of the house." I took a drag before passing it back to her.

"Now, now Justin", Brian teased, "Little Molly just wants to get laid like everyone else. You don't want her going home with a strange man she meets outside a bar, now do you?"

I kissed Brian for his reference. "I guess not, she might pick up a stalker" I teased nudging him with my shoulder. I leaned into him and let him kiss me passionately. When he placed his hand on my dick, Molly stood up and excused herself with a hearty sigh to let us know she was annoyed.

We continued to make out until my stomach growling interrupted us. "Are you hungry?" Brian asked.

"I guess so, I haven't really eaten today." I admitted. Brian frowned and urged me to get up.

"C'mon Sunshine", he said guiding me by the waist out the door. "Let's go to the kitchen and get you something to eat, then I'll take care of your other needs." He jested reaching around to grab my semi-hard dick over my pants.

I sat at the island in the kitchen while Brian made me a sandwich. "Do you want some chips or fruit?" he asked placing the sandwich on the plate in front of me.

"Sure", I replied while nodding and taking a bite. I was hungrier than I thought.

Brian grabbed a bag a chips from the pantry and placed them in front of me. He turned to grab some grapes from the fridge and washed them for me at the sink while I devoured the sandwich.

He ate a few grapes before picking one off the vine and placing it at my lips. I took it in my mouth and he leaned down to kiss me while sitting down next to me.

"You need to take better care of yourself if you're going to be a dad, you know" Brian said to me rubbing the back of my head.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

After Justin finished eating, he convinced me to join him for a workout. I would have much rather fucked his brains out but I guess there was always time for that later. Justin had developed a recent roundness to his stomach he was determined to work away. His once 30 inch waist was more like a 34 these days. I rode the stationary bike as he did crunches on the ab machine.

"You know" I offered, "You would get better results if you did those on the floor and worked your upper and lower abs at the same time. I can show you".

He moved to the floor and I gave him a few exercises to try that my trainer had suggested. I admired his body as he moved. It amused me that he now had to work to keep his "perfect twink physique" he once bragged about but I appreciated that he wanted to look good for me. I felt the same way, agonizing over loose skin or slack. I hit the weights even more these days than Justin knew, sneaking in workouts with Ben after work occasionally to keep me motivated and looking as good as I did at twenty-nine.

"Maybe I should hire your trainer" he said frustrated.

"Whatever you want dear", I laughed. Justin had been talking about hiring a trainer for two years. He preferred cardio to weight lifting and mostly went to the gym only so he could be hit on by men in front of me.

We finished our workout and headed outside to the hot tub to relax. I turned the jets on and we climbed in, Justin sat next to me, turned sideways and placed his legs over mind. I rubbed his calves as he updated me on the progress of his paintings.

When he was done talking, I broached the subject of Molly and the surrogacy. "You know, Molly is awfully young to get pregnant, and there's her school. Plus if she has a boyfriend now it might not be the best timing for her. Maybe we are asking too much."

"You're not changing your mind, are you?" He said with a horrified look.

"Calm down, we are just talking." I reassured him. "I just think maybe we should look at other alternatives."

"Like what?" he asked

"Well we could still ask her to donate the egg, but just find another woman to carry the baby. Like Lindsay. She said she might be willing to." I searched his face for a reaction.

"Or Daphne", he countered.

"Or we can hire a surrogate", I suggested "You know it might be cleaner than asking someone we know. So it's like more of a business transaction, you know rent-a-womb. Daphne or Lindsay would want to be involved with the baby, part of the baby's life, have a say in how we raise it. Like Michael and I do with Gus and J.R. Do you want that?"

Justin smiled and brought his lips to mine. "The baby should have a mother-figure. I mean, especially if we have a daughter. We wouldn't know what to tell a teen-age girl about being a woman. She wouldn't have a grandmother to ask either."

Justin looked deflated as he stepped out of the hot tub. I could tell the fantasy in his blond little head of a little bundle of joy, the perfect mix of him and I was being over shadowed by the harsh reality of the difficulties for two gay men trying to have a baby.

I placed a towel over his head drying his hair. He looked up at me; his eyes showed the hurt he was feeling inside. I kissed him softly on the top of his forehead.

"Don't worry Sunshine, it will work out." I hugged him and I held him in our embrace until he pulled away.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I woke up Sunday morning to the toilet flushing. Brian was already up. I checked my phone to see the time: shit nine-thirty already. I flopped out of bed and into the bathroom to take a piss. Brian was just getting in the shower.

"Good Morning", he chirped too cheerfully in my opinion.

"It's late, you should have waked me." I said sternly.

"You have an alarm and you're a big boy now", he shot back, "Have somewhere to be?"

"No, you know I need to work", not suppressing my annoyance.

"Well _someone _is in a mood this morning" Brian said while turning his back to me and soaping himself.

I opened the door to the shower and joined him rushing the process by immediately wetting my hair and applying shampoo. In the back of my mind I felt bad that I was being such a shit but couldn't help myself. We showered together but barely touched. He left the shower without as much as a glance my way.

Brian and I rarely fought anymore but we occasionally went through periods of just basically being annoyed by everything the other did. We would bicker. This was how the morning started and continued throughout getting dressed and having breakfast. I worked all day and most of the evening in the studio glad to be alone with my thoughts and prevented from letting my pissy mood continue to cause a rift. I would make it up to him later.

I emerged from the studio having put in a pretty full day. I went looking for Brian but instead found Molly watching television. "Brian went out", she said.

"Did he say where he was going?" I asked still annoyed.

"To Michael's first for dinner, something about meeting Hunter's new girlfriend, than he mentioned he might go to Babylon with Emmett and Ted."

"What the hell", I spouted, "Well that's fucking great that he just up and leaves without telling me".

"Damn Justin, what crawled up your ass?" Molly barked, "Maybe if you didn't bite our heads off when we interrupt your work, we would be more inclined to tell you this stuff as it was happening."

"By the way", she continued with a smirk "He asked me to tell you to join them if you felt like it when you were done working and he specifically told me to tell you that after you're finished being a fucking drama queen about his leaving." She laughed, "Man he knows you pretty well".

I couldn't help but smile at Molly's observation. He does know me well. I went upstairs to change and texted Brian I was planning to meet him. I also texted that I was sorry I had been a shit.

As I was walking out the door, Molly let me know she might have company again tonight.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

The _thumpa-thumpa _could be heard alive and well outside of Babylon as I waited for Justin to arrive. I didn't really need to wait outside for him but he had been in such a mood, I figured it was safer than having him scour the club looking for me. I spotted him as he approached the club. He paused under the street light I first met him and smiled. His walk sort of adjusted to the beat of the music when he was crossing the street. I held out my arms to welcome him. He kissed me and apologized for his earlier attitude again.

"That's okay", I shouted over the music as we walked into the club, "as long as you're better now".

"I am", he nodded. "Let's get a drink".

I ordered our drinks and headed over to Ted and Emmett. "Where's Blake?" I asked.

"He's dancing", Ted gestured to his boyfriend Blake dancing with a really attractive Latino.

I raised my eyebrow at Ted suggesting that he might have a problem with this arrangement. Ted shook his head no, "he's a friend… from the program". Blake still worked as a drug and alcohol abuse counselor and many of their friends were recovering addicts.

"Let's dance", Justin said pulling me on to the dance floor. Emmett joined us and we laughed as he was accosted by an older, portly man grinding on him. Emmett took it all in stride. Justin wrapped his arms around my waist and moved to the beat. "Would you like to join me in the VIP suite Mr. Kinney?" he suggested.

We headed up to the curtained off area where men lounged in various stages of undress engaging in a multitude of sex acts. The scent of sweat, cum and latex filled the air. I secured us a semi- secluded spot in the back and Justin unzipped my pants rubbing my growing cock. I was turned on by his aggressiveness. It's been awhile since we had sex in public but he signaled that was exactly what he wanted as he turned around and lowered his pants after handing me a small bottle of lube and a condom from his pocket. I reached around and slipped my hand under his shirt and felt his warm skin. I started grinding my still clothed dick against his ass. I kissed the back of his neck and breathed in the scent of his hair. Using my teeth I opened the condom and discarded the wrapper on the floor. Justin leaned over adjusting his height and positioning for me to enter him. I discreetly pulled my cock from my pants and placed the condom. Rubbing some lube on his opening and slipping a finger in his ass to prime him before sliding my cock in, I began fucking him quickly. He bucked backward matching my pace letting a small groan escape his lips as I ram him. He braced himself against the wall as I thrust into him harder approaching an orgasm. I grab his hair and kiss his neck as I explode. I reach around to his cock, stroking him trying to finish him off as well.

"That's ok" grabbing my hand and turning his neck to meet my kiss, "You can suck me off later. I just wanted to be fucked right now." He tucked his dick back in his underwear and pulled his pants up. I removed the condom and discarded it. We headed back to the guys and joined them on the dance floor. I held Justin closely as we danced, it was just like old times.


	4. Chapter 4

Justin

"Thank God!" I exclaimed as Brian walked in the door carrying Chinese takeout. "I'm starving". It was after seven when he got home.

"Yes, I agree the lack of delivery is a major downside to living out here." Brian cracked as he placed the food down and greeted me with a brief hug. "I got Molly something, I wasn't sure if she would be home".

"I wish, out with Mark again" I picked up the containers and opened the chop stick packages. Brian grabbed some plates and napkins and we sat down to eat at the coffee table.

"How was your day?" he asked getting back up to grab a beer from the fridge, "You want one?" he offered.

I shook my head no and he grabbed me a bottle of water instead. "It was good; I finished one of my paintings. Oh, and I made tentative plans with Emmett to talk about the wedding tomorrow. We need to narrow down a date."

As we were finishing dinner, Brian's cell rang. I could tell it was Michael. He came into the kitchen as I was cleaning up, still on the phone.

"Justin, do you know where Gus's game schedule is?" He said looking under a stack of mail on the desk.

I opened the drawer, pulled out the schedule and handed it to him. I heard Brian's side of the conversation pleased that he had considered Gus when making plans. He didn't make it to enough games in my opinion. "Yeah, Wednesday looks good. The game should be done by six-thirty" he continued, "seven o'clock. We'll be there. Love you too".

He hung up the phone. "We're having dinner at Michael and Ben's Wednesday after Gus's game" he informed me before clarifying "You were planning to go, right?"

"Yes but I will have to meet you there" I smiled. "I have a few errands to run in town before the game"

"Are you going to be near the office?" Brian asked, "Can you stop by so we can sign the papers we talked about. It should only take about an hour."

I agreed to stop by the office around one before I ran my errands. "Hey, will Emmett be at Michael's for dinner, I have a deposit check for him?" I asked.

"No, I don't think so", Brian continued, "He wants me to meet the new artist for Rage. You met him right, I think his name is Brad or Chad or something?"

"He hired him?" I was irritated Michael hadn't run the final decision by me. "I think you might have met him too by the way. I couldn't place him but he definitely looked familiar".

"Oh" Brian said slowly catching my meaning, "well this should be fun then."

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I pulled into the driveway about seven Tuesday evening to see Emmett's car parked next to Justin's blocking my access to the garage. I was surprised until I remembered Justin had told me they were meeting about the wedding. I hurried inside hoping they would have it all figured out. Like the last time, whatever Justin wanted was fine with me. I only cared that there was good booze and he was happy.

"Brian, just in time", Emmett hollered from the kitchen. I walked into an array of cake slices. "Here, I bought some samples from the bakery for you to select your cake". He handed me a fork.

I took a bite of one of the slices. Justin had his mouth full already. "This is good" he said offering me another piece. I tasted it and nodded in agreement.

"Good choice" said Emmett, "One of my favorites". He checked over his list. "Okay well we have the fabulous space" he said while flamboyantly gesturing to the house "and all the major decisions are made: flowers, food, music and now cake. So I just need you lovers to settle on a date and I can book all the vendors for you and order the invitations."

"Brian, can you check your schedule? Justin prompted me, "I want to plan the wedding so we can take a week off immediately for a honeymoon. Cynthia told me the first week in July was the earliest you could get away. Does that still work for you?"

"You called Cynthia?" I asked surprised taking another bite of cake.

"Of course", he said looking up and smiling. "How else do you think I get your schedule free? We email regularly."

I pulled out my phone and glanced at the first week of July: nothing major pending, no deadlines looming, and no meetings that couldn't be rescheduled. "It looks promising" I offered.

"OK well that doesn't give me much time but it's doable". Emmett made a note. "You guys are taking care of the rings, vows, and your ensembles and I will take care of all the rest."

Emmett started heading for the door before turning to hug Justin good-bye. "This time you guys better go through with it." He said half-jokingly.

After Emmett left, Justin pulled out his laptop and started surfing. "Do you want to see what I have in mind for our honeymoon?" He moved the screen to show me the resort he had picked out. "It's on the Amalfi Coast, you've never been, right"

"Looks good!" I exclaimed wrapping my arms around him from behind looking over his shoulder as he advanced the resort's picture slide show. "Have you booked it yet?"

"No, one of my errands tomorrow is to the travel agent. I needed to confirm the dates with you first"

"Well let's extend the trip a bit longer than a week; we just need to be back before Gus's birthday. After all, it might be the last kid-free vacation for a while" Brian patted my shoulder and kissed my neck. "But Sunshine, please no early flights"

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I woke up early Wednesday morning; Brian was still asleep. I climbed out of bed gently so as to not wake him and made my way to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and climbed in. I recalled my last conversation with Brian about asking Molly to be a surrogate. Between the wedding plans and my upcoming deadline, we had agreed to post pone talking to Molly for now. Maybe Brian was right, Molly seemed so happy lately. Her life was starting to come together: she had school, a boyfriend, and friends. She was really looking forward to going to Penn State for the Fall Semester and was applying for other scholarships like crazy. I was sure she would find something but I had reassured her I would pay for her school if it didn't work out. It felt good to be able to offer but I was worried she might feel obligated to help us in return. I made a mental note to make sure she knew school was not a condition for helping us carry a baby.

"Justin", Brian called out having snuck in the shower behind me, surprising me, "You're up early, everything okay?"

"Couldn't sleep and I have a lot to do today" I responded tilting my head to let Brian kiss my neck.

Brian grabbed the soap from my hands and started washing my back. His cock pushed against me and I could feel he was aroused. I turned to face him glancing down at his boner and giving him a smile. I took the soap back and washed his chest paying special attention to his nipples, kissing him slowly while the water ran over us. Brian turned me around and I braced myself against the wall of the shower. I let him fuck me but remained too distracted to really get into it. I was sure Brian noticed that I barely got hard. When he was done, Brian pulled out and cleaned himself off.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked in a tone that was more concerned than cross.

"I'm sorry" I offered a half-hearted explanation "Just distracted"

"Having trouble with the paintings?" he asked grabbing me around the waist pulling me closer "You're usually a sex machine when under a deadline"

I gave Brian some bullshit explanation so he would know it wasn't him. I didn't want to talk about the baby this morning. I needed to sort out my own feelings about it first. I was feeling incredibly conflicted.

I left Brian in the shower and stood at the sink brushing my teeth and moving through my morning routine like a zombie. After getting dressed, I headed to the studio and started working. I heard the door slam when Brian left.

Around noon I headed out the door to meet Brian and the lawyer at Kinnetic. I planned to stop by the diner and pick up lunch for Brian. It took longer than I planned and when I pulled into Kinnetic parking lot, it was almost one but I noticed Brian's car wasn't in his parking spot. I called him on his cell thinking maybe I got the time wrong. _No answer._

I walked up to Brian's office and Molly greeted me warmly. "Hi Justin"

"Hi yourself", I gave her a hug, peeking into Brian's office through the glass wall, "Where's Brian?"

"Not back from the doctor's yet", she said "He just called to say he was on his way. Your lawyer is here with some papers. I put him in the conference room if you want to go in. Do you want something to drink?"

"No thanks" I answered "I got Brian some lunch, can you put this in the fridge for him maybe he can eat it later."

I headed into the conference room and introduced myself to Brian's lawyer Mr. Silva. He took out a stack of papers and placed a pen on the desk. "Do you want to start?" he asked.

"Maybe we should wait for Brian", I suggested.

We made polite small talk about the wedding plans and my art show until Brian rushed in apologizing for his tardiness. Mr. Silva looked annoyed that Brian was late but said nothing. He quickly went to work going through each document explaining the purpose of each form in lay terms. Brian signed each form emotionless, he looked off, something was wrong. Mr. Silva left promptly after the meeting leaving Brian and I in the conference room.

"Thanks again for doing all this", I said walking over to Brian and rubbed his shoulders "everything okay at the doctors?"

"Yeah fine" Brian said not convincingly looking at me with pained eyes.

"Brian" I said worriedly "you're freaking me out, what's wrong?"

"Nothing that we should get into now" he said, "we can talk about it later, okay?"

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I sat in my office staring at my computer screen for the afternoon trying to concentrate on work. Around four, Linz called me and said she had a late meeting come up and asked if I would mind picking up Gus and taking him to his game. I agreed and packed up to head out for the day.

I pulled up to the school and waited for Gus to appear among the crowd of kids. He wouldn't be looking for my car. I finally spotted him in a crowd of third and fourth grade boys, his height just slightly above the rest, his brown hair waving in the slight breeze_. My sonny boy_, I thought to myself, not that he let me call him that unless we were alone. He really looked just like me at that age. I honked at first but didn't get his attention so I left the car and walked up to him. He was passing around a comic book with another kid, one of the rewards from helping Uncle Michael in the store with his sister. "Gus", I called out to get his attention.

"Dad" he said looking confused "what are you doing here, are my moms okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course" I reassured him "Mom got caught up at work and Mama is still in court. I am here to take you to your game."

He said good-bye and followed me to the car. "Where's Justin? Is he coming to the game?"

"He's going to meet us there, with your moms. You'll have the largest cheering section of any kid." I joked.

"Not really" he laughed, "a lot of my friends have two parents and two step-parents; just not two moms and a dad and a…." he paused thinking about it, "Is Justin my step-dad?"

I laughed nervously; Gus always seemed well-adjusted about his somewhat unique family. We have never really labeled Justin before for him. "I guess he will be after the wedding. Is that okay with you?

"I guess" he said "mom said he was there when I was born. So I guess it's like he's another dad. Should I call him dad too?"

"That might get confusing, you can call him Justin after the wedding or we can come up with another name if you want" I offered, I was sure Justin would be touched by his comment and made a mental note to tell him about it.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I made it to Gus's game just in time for the kick-off or whatever they call it in soccer. Truthfully I had no idea about the rules of the game. I figured if he played again next year, I would make an effort to learn the lingo. Gus was the goalie so it was easy to know when he was doing something right and I had faked it for the last two seasons. I walked over to the bleachers and found Brian sitting with Lindsay.

"Hi" I gave Lindsay a hug and moved past her to sit next to Brian. He patted my leg and gave me a nudge to acknowledge that he was glad to see me. We were careful to limit our PDA in front of Gus and his friends as to avoid negative attention and that included kissing or hugging.

"Did you get your errands done?" he asked.

"Yep got the trip booked, the catering deposit is paid, the wedding invitations have been picked up from the calligrapher, and I stopped by the gallery to talk to the owner about the upcoming show. They are coming to pick up the finished pieces tomorrow. It's a great space." I ran through the rest of my days errands.

"You okay?" I asked still concerned about this afternoon.

"I'm fabulous" he said changing the subject as Gus blocked a shot "Look at my sonny boy killing it out there."

I let it go for now, we would talk later after dinner. Mel showed up with J.R. and we watched the rest of the game and cheered loudly as Gus's team won 3-2 in a last-minute goal.

After the game, we waited to say good-bye to Gus. He ran up with his friend Cameron in toe. "Mom" he said to Linz, "Can Cameron go with us to get pizza?"

Cameron's parents were approaching us. Lindsay greeted them and introduced her and the group. "Hi, I'm Lindsay, Gus's mom. This is my wife Melanie and Gus's Dad, Brian" They looked a bit taken by surprise but not disgusted.

Gus chimed in, "and this is my other dad, Justin". He said it really plainly. My heart swelled. I have always thought of Gus like a son but being introduced as a dad was so overwhelming. I was grinning proudly. With that Gus and Cameron ran off and Lindsay talked to the other parents about the dinner plans and Brian and I said our good-byes and left.

I left my car at the soccer field and drove with Brian over to Michael and Ben's for dinner. "Did you hear that", I asked Brian, "Can you believe that Gus called me his other dad?"

"Well, yes I can" he explained "I mean, first he asked me about it on the way to the game and second, you are like a dad to him. You've been as big a part of his life as I have except for the five minutes I spent jerking off into that cup"

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

Justin and I pulled into the driveway at quarter till seven. "Justin" I asked "I have a bottle of wine in the back for dinner, can you grab it?"

"Sure" he said as he reached around and felt for the bottle on the floor board of the car.

I started to get out of the car when I heard Justin say, "Brian, what's this?"

"Shit" I said sitting back down in the car grabbing the folder from the fertility clinic from his hands. "I planned to talk to you about this later".

"Why do you have a folder full of adoption information" he asked a bit angrily.

"Can we talk later?" I begged "We're late"

"No we're not, we're early" he said placing his hand on my shoulder, "Tell me what the doctor said"

I sighed and looked down at the floor. "He said it's impossible, okay" I barked angry he was forcing me to have this conversation in a car outside Michael's. "He said the radiation, in addition to killing cancer cells, killed any chance of me getting Molly or anyone else for that matter, pregnant. They gave me the folder because they assumed I was straight and that I would want to discuss alternatives with my wife. So if we are going to have a baby, you're going to have to man up and do the job yourself."

The hurt puppy dog look Justin gave me nearly broke my heart. I was about to apologize when Michael came out and waved. "What are you doing out there, come in guys" he insisted.

Justin left the car abruptly, following Michael into the house.

I slammed the car door shut and walked in to the house. Just when I didn't think this fucking day could get any fucking worse, I see him. The fucking guy who told me I had cancer after he blew me, Sean or Shane, or whatever. "What the fuck?" I said not hiding my confusion.

"Excuse me" Michael said introducing the man to me, "this is Chad our new artist for Rage".

"I thought you were a doctor?" I asked him looking between him and Michael "wait, your name is not Chad, what the fuck is going on?"

Justin came into the room and even seeing my utter confusion, glared at me for my rudeness.

"Oh", Chad spoke, "You must know my brother Shane. Don't worry it happens all the time, we're twins."

"Twins?" I said in disbelief.

"Yeah, actually he must get around more than I think cause I've only been in Pittsburgh like five weeks and this is the third time this has happened." He tried laughing it off. "So are you the inspiration for Rage?"

"Brian" Justin said, "Can you come help me please?"

I followed Justin out to the car. "What did you need help with?"

"Nothing" he barked "I just wanted to get you out of there before you made an even bigger ass of yourself. Can we just get through this dinner please? We can talk about what you said later."

I followed him into the house and placed a fake smile on my face. Pouring myself a drink, I planned to be comfortably numb by the time dinner was served.

_Mission accomplished_. I barely remember dinner and Chad's departure immediately following. I said good-bye to Michael and Ben and Justin somewhat helped me to the car.

I vaguely remember Justin bitching about having the come pick up his car the next day in town and losing valuable studio time before passing out in the car.

"Brian" Justin called my name poking me "Brian, wake up, we're home"

I slowly opened my eyes and with Justin's help stumbled up the stairs and to the bed.

I woke up in an empty bed sill dressed to the alarm blaring from across the room.

"Who moved the fucking alarm clock?" I said throwing a pillow at it but missing and knocking over a lamp instead.

"Jesus Christ Brian" Justin shouted entering the room from the hallway, "Get it together". He reached down and thankfully turned off the clock.

"That was quite a show you put on last night" he said.

I sat up, looking at him and patted the bed motioning for him to sit beside me.

"I'm sorry" I said kissing his forehead. "Really, I don't know what got into me."

"I just want to understand why you got so freaked. Who's Shane? Have you fucked him since we stopped using condoms?" Justin said his face furrowed.

"What? No!" I said emphatically, "I would never, you know that"

"Then what?" he asked.

I started talking and didn't stop until I had gotten it all out. I told him about how Shane was the one who found the lump on my testicle. I did my best to come clean about how finding out I was shooting blanks was as emasculating as having my ball removed. I told him about being offered a chance to bank my sperm before the radiation and passing up on it without ever discussing it with him. It was all too much.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

After Brian and I talked I felt better. He told me how he was feeling, something that never comes easy for him, and I told him how conflicted I had been as well. We lay down on our bed together side-by-side. His arms around me holding me tight, running his fingers through my hair. I could feel his breath on my neck. I suddenly started crying.

"Sunshine, what's wrong?" Brian asked squeezing me even tighter.

"I'm just sad" I admitted "I'm sad for us, I feel like maybe we aren't meant to have a kid"

"Justin, listen" he said "Are you listening?"

I nodded, "This isn't the end. We still have lots of options" he continued "Do you remember when Gus called you his dad?"

I nodded again.

He continued holding onto me tightly "Well you haven't looked that happy in long time. Now you have a taste of what it's like: that overwhelming connection and love that comes from having a child. I want that for you. We'll just have to find a different surrogate and you'll be the biological father. I don't understand why you're giving up"

"Brian. I'm scared" I finally admitted. "I'm scared the only way you will be able to really love our child, to be connected to the baby, is if it's yours biologically"

Brian turned me around on my back, leaning over and kissing me gently. "Sunshine, is that what you've been so worried about? Look, I told you before; I will love the baby because it's part of you. I promise you."

It was the first time Brian had really promised me anything and I knew he wouldn't break it.


	5. Chapter 5

Brian

Two weeks flew by since my last conversation with Justin about the baby plans; the wedding was less than a month away and Justin spent most of his time in the studio. He worked furiously on the last canvas to meet today's deadline for his show. I mostly worked aiming at getting as much done as possible for a distraction-free honeymoon. Gus completed his school year and was a regular visitor at Briton; making good use of the pool and becoming more graceful on the tennis court. It was nice that between Molly, Mark and Gus the house still felt lived in, more so since Justin and I didn't see more than the office, the studio and the bedroom lately.

I couldn't even recall more than one or two home cooked meals the past two-weeks and tonight was no exception. I left Kinnetik and headed to meet Justin and Gus for dinner to celebrate Justin making his deadline. When I arrived at the restaurant, I was escorted to the table where they were already seated. Gus was drawing on a scrap of paper with Justin's hand around his demonstrating some drawing technique. Both looked up with smiles. "Hi Dad", Gus said warmly. "Hi Daddy" Justin said tongue-in-cheek. Both greetings brought a smile to my face

Gus filled us in on his day while we ate, speaking excitedly as kids his age tend to do, preventing Justin and I from catching up. Michael's mom, Debbie, had offered, well really insisted, on watching J.R. and Gus in the summer for Lindsay and Melanie. She normally went to their house but today she brought the kids over to hers. Gus shared with great enthusiasm and detail his experiences in making Grandma's lemon bars and judging by Gus's energy, he sampled more than his share.

After dinner, I took Gus back to Lindsay's while Justin headed home. "Hey Mel" I said entering their home with Gus in tow. I handed her a book bag containing the various clothing and toys that had migrated to my home over the last few weeks.

"Hi Brian, thanks" she said taking the bag. "How are you?"

"We're good. Justin is crazy busy." I offered. "He wanted me to remind you and Lindsay about Gus's fitting for his suit, it's Sunday"

"We won't forget. Lindsay is planning to take him" she assured me.

"Take who, where?" Lindsay said descending the stairs having overheard the tail end of the conversation and giving me a quick kiss.

"Gus to his fitting for the wedding" Mel answered Lindsay, setting the bag down on the table in the dining room "Did J.R. get her bath yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, she's in the tub now", Lindsay told Mel and they talked briefly in the entry way. I wandered down the hallway to say good-bye to Gus but stopped short to admire Justin's work hanging in their home. "Can you stay for a while Brian?" Lindsay asked joining me in the hallway.

I shook my head "No sorry, I have barely spoken to Justin the last few weeks, I want to get home. I will see you both at his show, right?" They confirmed they wouldn't miss it for the world and I said my good-bye to Gus and headed back to the car.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

The day of my show, I woke up alone having slept in. I hadn't worked since I met the deadline; choosing instead to workout, take care of last-minute wedding details and just generally relax a bit. Molly had taken the day off as well and we spent the morning goofing off in the pool. Around lunchtime, I showered and changed.

"Molly, I need to check in with the gallery." I hollered "Did you want to come with?"

"Sure" she said grabbing her shoes and purse.

On our drive Molly talked feverishly about her plans for school. One of her friends who attended Penn had found an apartment and she was thinking of rooming with her. She commented that the roommate needed to check with her mother and got quiet all of a sudden "I really wish mom was here" she finally said.

Molly always seemed a little emotional when it came to our mother but she was really fighting back tears. I nodded at her sentiment in agreement "Me too, she was so excited about dancing with me at the wedding before she got sick, I regret that we will never get to do that."

"Well she would be so proud of you" Molly continued her tone brightening a bit "She loved seeing your art. I used to be so jealous of you, you know? Mom always thought you were special because you were so talented. Then when you met Brian and started causing so much drama, then the attack. You really got all her attention. I was so mad at you when they divorced; I blamed you for a long time."

"I know Molly; it wasn't fair to you. You were just a kid; I am sorry about that." I turned to smile at her. "I'm glad you came to stay with Brian and I this last year. I'm glad I got to know you as an adult, after all, you're the only real family I have left. I am going to miss you when you go to school. By the way, Mom would be so proud of you too."

"Look Justin, he's an asshole and has done some terrible things but Dad's still alive you know" she was broaching the subject carefully "Don't you ever think he will come around?"

I smiled at her optimism; we had that in common. I hadn't spoken to my father since he had me arrested. I saw him only once since, at my mother's funeral. He attended the service with his new wife and left without speaking to me. I shook my head in silence and patted Molly's leg. Part of me is always hoping but I tried not giving it much space in my life; in a way it was the first "real" thing Brian taught me. A father is someone more than a man who happens to get your mother pregnant.

"Well you have Brian and Gus" she reminded me. "I'm looking forward to having a brother-in-law and a nephew"

I pulled into the gallery parking lot and went inside. My paintings, as well as those from two other artists, were displayed. I was really happy with the way they turned out.

"Wow, Justin! I just love this one" Molly remarked referring to the last painting I completed. "It's so powerful. It's so conflicted, I see pain and joy; what an interesting mix of dark and light. What do you call it?"

I walked over to her and stared at it with her for a moment. It was the largest canvas in the show and the best work I had done in a long time. I started working on it right after Brian and I had spoken about his infertility. I looked at her and gestured to the placard with the name of the piece:

_**Fatherhood by J. Taylor** _

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

"That was brilliant" I exclaimed as we left the gallery. I pulled Justin in for a long kiss on the way to the car. "You're a big fucking success!" I leaned him against the car, pausing to stare into his eyes before kissing him again. "I can't believe what a genius I am marrying" I said running my hands over his chest. "How did I get so lucky?"

"It did go pretty well" Justin relented, being modest.

I looked at him in disbelief. "Hmm…Pretty well? You sold everything and they want more. Everyone was blown away. I'd say "pretty well" doesn't really cut it Mr. Taylor."

"Where should we go to celebrate?" I asked, opening the passenger side door for him to get in.

"Actually, I'm pretty beat, I just want to head home." He said looking more upset than tired.

"A private celebration it is then" I said suggestively leaning down to kiss him one last time. Justin smiled weakly; on the way home he seemed subdued, distracted, especially after having had one of his best shows ever.

About halfway home, I had enough of the brooding "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked exasperated.

"Talk about what?" he asked.

"Justin, you forget, I know you as well as you know me" I smiled at him "Tell me to fuck-off or tell me what's bothering you but don't pretend there's nothing wrong."

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

Brian's right, I was upset but I was sure he would be frustrated for the reason so I didn't really want to get into it. I didn't say fuck-off but I didn't answer him either. We drove home in virtual silence. While we drove I started to feel guilty. After all, for so many years he struggled to trust me, to open up instead of shutting me out when things were bad or difficult; he was justified in his frustration when I pulled the same shit.

When we pulled into the driveway, he turned to me and kissed me lightly on the lips. "I'm proud of you" he said looking at me with loving eyes. He kissed me again, this time more firmly; grabbing the back of my head and pulling me toward him. "Justin" he whispered in between kisses "he's not worth it".

We walked into the house his arm around me; I was fighting back tears.

Brian walked me to our bed and removed my jacket. He slowly started to unbutton my shirt. "Sunshine" he said quietly "I told you; you are all you need."

He continued removing my shirt; kneeling in front of me while I sat on our bed, he started kissing my chest, running his tongue over my nipples teasing them. I suddenly felt an overwhelming desire for him; grabbing his chin and guiding his lips to mine. I devoured his lips pulling him back with me onto our bed. He pulled away briefly to look at me while caressing my hair and touching me tenderly.

"How did you know?" I asked, scattering kisses on his face and neck.

Brian looked down, his lips pressed. "Your painting" he supposed kissing me again. "It was so beautiful but sad" he continued lying on his back and inviting me to into his arms. He held me for a few minutes before elaborating. "Sometimes, you say you can look at my face and know how I feel."

I nodded; Brian's face was fairly easy for me to read now.

"Well, I never really understood it." He continued "But tonight, I realized it's the same with me and your art, I can look at it and know how you were feeling when you painted it. That painting, it spoke to me. I could see the anticipation you have about becoming a father and the happiness you feel when you're with Gus but I could also see the dark side: the rejection and the pain you are carrying because of Craig. Painting it, it must have brought up a lot of memories."

I stared at the man I have loved for ten years in amazement; this beautiful man who for so long refused love and rejected commitment. How could we have come so far? "You're fucking unbelievable sometimes"

"It's true, I am" he smiled.

"You're also wrong" I said kissing him. "I'm not all I need"

"Oh?" he asked his eyebrow arched in a doubtful expression.

I murmured while unbuckling his belt. " I need you"

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I could take one look at his face and knew what he had in mind. We spent more the seven years together off- and -on with our established preferences, top and bottom, with one notable exception. Justin loved it; I loved it. But during that time, Justin had his tricks if he felt like doing the fucking. Since our foray into monogamy two years ago; there were times when Justin needed to top, where he needed to have control. As much as I loved him, I had never loved being on the receiving end and always reluctantly acquiesced. To me bottoming required a willing vulnerability that I was never comfortable with and certainly wasn't a turn on. I didn't suspect that tonight would be any different but I couldn't refuse him.

Letting Justin make love to me was intensely erotic. He was so gentle when removing my clothes, treating each new section of exposed skin with his talented tongue; building my desire alternating between heated urgency and slow, sensual licks. Lying on top of me he began moving his hips, synchronizing with my rhythm, grinding our cocks together slowly adding friction until the moisture from our pre-cum allowed us to slide up and down together uninhibited. Feeling his hardness awakened such an unfamiliar longing within me; I wanted him inside me. I grunted suppressing my urge to take control and instead surrendered to him. After encouraging me to roll onto my stomach he set about lovingly preparing me: first with his tongue probing my hole, the wetness adding lubrication as he entered me with one finger, than two stretching me slowly.

He never ceased giving reassuring kisses on my back and neck while whispering, "You're so beautiful" into my ear.

I slowed my breathing, taking in the sensations, feeling overcome with lust and desire. I relaxed around his fingers and he withdrew them. Rolling me to my side, he began to fill me. Using my exposed hip for leverage, he began entering me slowly, pausing for me to adjust every additional inch or so. I turned my neck so I could see Justin's face. His expression was one of pure ecstasy. I relaxed more, surrendering myself to the full experience moving my hips backward allowing his cock to penetrate me completely. Justin moaned into ear, "God Baby, you feel so incredible" as he began his movement, rocking slowly in and out of me.

I bucked my hips back in desperate need to be brought to a quick climax but Justin silently insisted on setting the pace. He pulled me back toward him; restricting my ability to move my hips. "Let me" he said when I continued to resist his lead. I again submitted.

He continued to slide in and out off me slowly, I started begging for release, "Yes, Fuck me" I said encouraging him to climax, grasping my cock and stroking it furiously.

"Don't" he said removing my hand from my cock, "Let me". He entwined my fingers with his. I looked back meeting his gaze and letting him kiss me. He had never been so insistent on full control. I nodded, letting my body completely relax to his touch. I breathed in his scent, concentrating on all the sensations rather than my need to cum. My mind went to another place completely enveloped by my lover. I no longer felt vulnerable; I felt safe. I began to climax, feeling the flood of sensations and spasms. Justin whispered in my ear "that's it baby, cum for me"

I called out Justin's name erupting in wave after wave. He stoked my hair, kissing me, allowing me to catch my breath before rolling me over and pulled my hips up giving him better access. He leaned over my back, running his hands in my hair, pulling gently. I gasped at the change in intensity as he rammed me furiously grasping at my hips to gain deeper access than ever before. My pain rapidly turned to pleasure as he found my prostate; I accepted each thrust with a sensual groan feeling my cock fill again.

Justin was grunting and moving frantically. I was quickly approaching another climax and I exploded again as I felt the warmth from Justin's orgasm fill me. He collapsed on me, as I collapsed on the bed. We laid like that, his cock still in me for a while, breathing together and saying nothing.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I woke up in the morning my limbs so intertwined with Brian's that I couldn't move without disturbing him. I had such a feeling of contentment that I stayed there, watching him sleep, listening to a slight wheeze in his breathing. I started recalling all the milestones in our relationship: our first time, my bashing, his cancer, our engagement, my mom's death. Each time, we pushed each other away and came back stronger. We had both changed so much.

I learned how to be a man because of him; something my father wasn't capable of teaching me. I loved him for it but it created an early power struggle in our relationship. He was always giving or teaching; I was always taking or learning. As a result, I focused solely on what I needed from him: I needed to hear him say he loved me, I needed his commitment, and I needed romantic gestures. The entire proposal was him trying to give me what I needed.

I realized after I left, Brian wasn't capable of fully accepting love; he never learned he was worthy of love. It's something his parents never taught him but it was something I could teach him. After my mom died; he expected me to go back to New York, pick up where I left off. I stood my ground, refusing to leave him; insisting he was worth it to me, that there was no sacrifice. Over the past few years, I've seen him accept my love more and more. I focus on what I can give him; teach him, instead of what I need from him and that has made all the difference. Now he freely gives me what I need: he says he loves me, he's committed, he makes romantic gestures, and this time getting married was something he wanted as much as I did.

But last night was the first night he let me physically love him; completely giving himself over to me. I felt his last resistance to my love melt away.


	6. Chapter 6

Justin

Last night I had a dream. In the dream, Brian approached me just as he had the first night he brought me back to his loft. I stood under the streetlight near Babylon trying to look like I belonged on Liberty Avenue. Wearing a white t-shirt under a blue plaid shirt and baggy blue jeans, I look hopelessly out of place. Brian walks up stunningly gorgeous as always and asked me "How's it going, had a busy night?" I give him some bull shit about checking out the bars.

"Where you headed?" he asks.

I respond "No place special"

Then he says "I can change that"

Only in the dream I don't go with him. I leave and go home.

I awoke with Brian's arm around me; he was snuggling up close so I could feel his breath on my neck. I made no attempt to move but Brian, sensing my wakefulness, pulls me closer to him, squeezing me tighter. I recall his words that night: _I can change that. _

Brian shifts his legs, rubbing his feet against mine. "Good Morning Sunshine" he whispers into my ear.

Stretching, I roll on my back so I could look at him. "Mm, Good Morning yourself"

Brian runs his hand over my cheek, gazing at me adoringly. His stare used to be my poison, like one of Rage's super-powers; he could completely control me with those eyes. Now I see nothing but my future when I look into them. He kisses me slowly and gently; shock-waves of emotions run through me. His hands travel down my body, expertly navigating every sensitive area. His exploration leaves me trembling with anticipation. "Justin" he mummers softly while snuggling his face into the crook of my neck. "Thank you" he whispers.

Confused, I ask "For what?"

"For not giving up on me; on us…" he's on the verge of tears. "…for loving me so much, even when I couldn't…" his voice trailed off.

"Hey, it's okay" I sit up so I can wrap my arms around him "It's okay, Brian, we made it" I stroke his hair and kiss the top of his head, and hold him tight against my chest. I held him like that as long as I could "Baby" I finally whispered "If you're still planning to marry me today; we should probably get out of bed"

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I descend the stairs into what should be my family room and am met with utter chaos. Emmett stands at the center of the room conducting an orchestra of workers. I plan my route through the chairs, flowers, lights, musical instruments and people to my kitchen for a badly needed cup of coffee. I was absolutely lesbianic this morning; I don't mind if Justin sees that but I would have to hold it together during the ceremony or I would never live it down. I figure it will be easier to go out the front door and around the house to the sliding glass doors; I take one step off the landing towards the door and Emmett stops me.

"Where, pray tell, are you going Mr. Kinney?" he asks

"To my kitchen" I snarled back "Do you mind?"

"You can't go in the kitchen the caterers are setting up" Emmett informs me.

"Well, then, I am going to Starbucks. I need coffee." I explain

"Honey, I already took care of you. My assistant will be here in less than five minutes with breakfast for you and Justin as well as your soy latte" he guides me back to the stairs "Now go back upstairs and relax with Justin"

"Well I will go pick up Gus then" I turn back to the door.

"Lindsay and Mel are bringing him" his arm redirecting me to the stairs. "Now you have about two hours before you need to be getting dressed"

Reluctantly, I head back up the stairs and join Justin in his studio. "Emmett thinks I am trying to escape and he won't let me leave the house" I laugh

"Yeah I know" Justin offers looking up from his sketch pad, "I'm the one who gave the order. Are you having cold feet?"

"Never" I insist wrapping my arms around him from behind "Just feeling a little stir crazy. I might get a workout in and burn off some of this energy."

"Good thing we have a home gym" he laughs "I finished packing us for the honeymoon. You might take a second look in case I forgot something you wanted to bring"

"What's to pack, all we need is a few dildo's and plenty of lube?" I joked.

"Well I threw in a couple of suits, jeans, a speedo, a toothbrush…you know just in case we need to leave the room"

"Ah, I see" I kissed the top of his head "thanks for taking care of the packing. You take such good care of me"

I reached down unbuttoning his jeans sliding my hand into his pants. "Hey, isn't there something in the wedding vows about to have and to hold…?" I grabbed his cock and started stroking it.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not what it's referring to" he laughed pulling me in for a kiss.

"I think I found a better way to burn off my nervous energy" pulling him up and spinning him around.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I managed to stay calm all morning but as I left the bathroom and headed to pull my suit out of the closet, the nerves set in. I stood there staring at it. Brian walked up behind me, running his hand over my upper arm. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked.

"Are you kidding?" I joked "I should be asking you that? "

"I bought you something" he said pulling a small bag hidden in the back of our closet.

I opened the Tiffany box containing gorgeous cufflinks, JTK, the engraving read.

"JTK?" I raised my eyebrow

"We didn't discuss it…" he said taking the box from me and inspecting them closely "…and I don't expect you to change your professional name but I would like it if you would use my name socially"

"Justin Taylor-Kinney?" I smiled "I love the sound of that"

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I had just finished dressing when there was a knock at our door. "Come in" I called out.

The door opened and Molly entered, wearing a stunning red dress her blond hair swept up. "Wow Molly, you look gorgeous" I exclaimed.

"Thanks Brian" she lit up giving me a kiss "You look great. Where's Justin?"

"He's in the bathroom, still primping" I offered, "Justin" I called out to get his attention

Justin joined us in the bedroom. "Holy Shit Mollusk, you look so grown up!"

"Thanks" she smiled looking serious; she pulled two small envelopes from her purse. "I don't want to interrupt you but I have something for you and I wanted to give it to you before anyone else showed up"

"What is it?" Justin asked concerned.

"They're letters…" Molly held out the envelopes "….from mom"

"What?" Justin asked grabbing the letters from his sister, "When?"

"She gave them to me before she died, she made me promise to give them to you on your wedding day" she explained "she always knew you two would make it."

"I'm just so happy for you both and I am so happy that you forgave me for all the stupid shit I did when I was living with dad. I love you both so much." She turned to leave.

"Wait Molly" Justin called out. He embraced his sister. "I have something for you too" he said pulling a box from the top drawer of his dresser.

He handed the box to Molly, "Mom gave this to me before she died; she asked me to give it to you. She said I would know when the time was right. I was saving it for your college graduation but I think the time is right now"

Molly opened the box, tears falling down her cheek, "its great-grandma's ring" she gasped staring at the one carat ruby and diamond ring that had been passed down to four generations of her family. She placed the ring on her finger. "Thank you" she said hugging us both before leaving us alone with Jennifer's words.

The envelopes were addressed to each of us; Justin handed me the letter with my name on it.

I took a deep breath and opened the letter sitting down on the bed with him

_My Dearest Brian;_

_If you're reading this, you've finally come to your senses. When I brought you Justin's things that day in your office after he first left home; I was terrified I was losing my son. I saw a man, clinging desperately to his adolescence, who had no heart. Then after we really almost lost him, I brought him to you. I asked you to take him, to save him and you did. It was then I realized what Justin had seen all along. That you have the biggest heart; it was just protected behind a fortress you've spent thirty years building up. But Justin knew it was there and never stopped trying to reach it. _

_I was so blessed to finally meet the real you, the man you were meant to be, the man who loves fearlessly. It was then I stopped being afraid of losing Justin and realized what a wonderful son I had gained. You should never be afraid to let others see that man as well. I know you will always take care of my son and protect him. I wish I could be there to witness you state publicly what has been obvious to those around you for so long; how very much you love each other. But since I cannot be there, I want you to remember these things as you start your married life together: First, even though I'm gone know you had a mother who loves you exactly for the man you are. Second, never be too proud to let him take care of you when you need him to. Lastly, accept his love because no matter what anyone told you, you deserve it._

_All my love, _

_Jennifer_

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

Brian placed the letter on the bed and grabbed my hand. I looked down at it staring at my own envelope. "I don't think I'm ready to read it" I said quietly.

"It's all right" he placed his arm around me "Do you want me to read it to you?" he offered

I shook my head no. I took a deep breath and opened the letter.

_My Dearest Justin,_

_The day you were born was one of the happiest days of my life. Even on my darkest days, your smile was contagious. You spent so much of your childhood being the perfect son; you did well in school, you were such a talented artist, and you made me so proud. I took for granted that because you were smiling you were happy. When you left home, I was so confused, not because you were gay but because it was obvious how unhappy, how frustrated you had been. I didn't understand how I could have missed the pain my own son was going through; how you would think you had to pretend to be someone other than who you were so that I would be proud of you. It's one of the great regrets of my life._

_The truth is you made me so proud everyday; you are so brave, so generous, and so caring. You fight for what you want and those that you love. You value the truly important things in life. You never let anyone or anything stand between you and your dreams. I admire all these things about you my sweet boy._

_You have reached this day because you never stopped fighting for each other, and you never should. The love you two share is truly rare, it's amazing that you overcame the obstacles others put in your way, but a miracle you overcame the ones you built yourselves. My hope for you and Brian is that you will always face obstacles together and never stop fighting for each other._

_I hope today is the beginning of another dream come true for you. I life filled with love and joy. Be good to each other and whatever you do, don't stop following your dreams._

_All my love,_

_Mom_

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

Justin and I spent a few quiet moments holding each other before Emmett came knocking on the door. "Boys, we're ready for you"

I stood up and took Justin's hand. "You ready beautiful?" I asked

He stood up and followed me down the stairs. We were greeted by our family: Molly, Daphne, Debbie, Carl, Michael, Ben, Hunter, J.R., Lindsay, Melanie, Gus, Ted, Blake and Emmett. The house had been transformed, it was ridiculously romantic. The trio of musicians started playing; I smiled at Justin when I noticed there was a conspicuously absent violinist. He nodded at me, acknowledging the significance.

Most of the guests were already seated. Emmett escorted Molly to her seat. Followed by Ben, Hunter and J.R.; Carl with Debbie; Ted and Blake; finally by Lindsay and Melanie.

"It's time" Emmett said.

I took Gus's hand and Justin and I walked to the front of the room with Michael and Daphne, our witnesses, to join the minister.

I took Justin's hands in front a room full of family and friends while staring in his eyes. My hands were sweating, my heart beating fast.

Before I knew it the minister was prompting me for my vows….

_My Dearest Justin_

_Trying to write words to describe how much I love you is like trying to describe what water taste like._

_When I look at you, I see my future_

_Your beauty, heart and mind inspire me to be the best version of myself. _

_I promise to love you for eternity, and to let you love me;_

_I promise to comfort you when you need it, and to let you comfort me_

_I promise to remain faithful, and to protect your heart as I would my own_

_I love you. You're all I want. You're all I need._

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I looked down at my left hand to the ring Brian had placed there not an hour ago. Holding the champagne glass and listening to Michael's and Daphne's toasts. Of course there was gentle ribbing about our promiscuous past, our age difference, and plenty of disbelief they would see the day when Brian settled down but the speeches were touching and affirming. I don't think I have ever been so blissfully happy.

The band was great; we danced our asses off. Everything was incredibly beautiful. Brian looked so handsome. Gus was adorable. The food was delicious. The entire ceremony and reception passed in a blur.

The guest had all left, except Molly of course, and Emmett who stayed behind to oversee the cleaning crew.

Brian called out to Emmett, "Is the limo here?"

He nodded giving me a smile.

"Brian, why is there a limo, our flight doesn't leave until tomorrow afternoon." I asked.

"You'll see" he said taking my hand and leading me out to the limo. The driver was packing our suitcases in the trunk.

"Not that one" Brian told the driver pointing to a small duffel bag "I brought us a change of clothes" he explained "Please put that one in the back with us." He instructed the driver.

I climbed in the back of the limo with Brian. "Where are we going?"

"First things first, let's get you changed" he said rolling up the partition in the limo.

Brian undressed me quickly. After giving my naked body plenty of attention he stopped "We can't have our first time as husband and husband rushed in the back of a limo" he explained. "We have a lifetime for that".

We both changed into more comfortable clothes before stopping. The limo driver opened the door. I climbed out and much to my dismay; we were at Brian's old loft. He led me into the elevator.

"Brian, what's going on?" I asked again

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

"I couldn't sell it" I admitted as we entered the familiar space. "This is the place we made love for the first time"

"That wasn't love, you just gave me a rim job and fucked my brains out remember" he laughed using my words against me.

"Not that time" I explained "After Gus's first birthday party; when you let me touch you again after the bashing. You said you wanted me inside you. You asked me to take it easy like the first time. Being with you then, that was my first time. That was my first time making love to you or anyone for that matter; it was a year exactly after we met."

"You've had the loft this whole time and you never told me", he asked in disbelief.

"I was renting it out but when the last lease was up, I left it empty" I said. "I actually own the whole building now" I confessed.

"The whole building?" He still looked puzzled "Why?"

"Well this part of Tremont isn't as much residential anymore" I explained "commercial values were really rising so it was a good investment and I wanted to control what happened to the building. I couldn't let it become a Gap Kids"

He walked around taking the space in. It looked much bigger with most of the furniture gone.

"I found a tenant for the first floor" I said smiling "He's already started renovating. Come see"

I led Justin into the ground floor space. "What is this?" he asked seeing the large open space, with white walls, and beautiful hard wood floors.

I led him to the front of the space, a large reception desk marking the entrance from the street.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

Justin Taylor Gallery was written in large black letters above the reception desk. Just under the letters was my painting _Fatherhood. _

"Brian" I said "I'm just an artist. I can't run a gallery."

"True, you can't but Lindsay can" he offered kissing me "I already convinced her to take the job. She secured this painting for you. I didn't think you were ready to let it go quite yet. You just have to show your work or find other artist to show. She will help you. You will help others."

I was speechless as we returned to the loft on the third floor. I heard the sound of the lock close and memories of our time together in this space flooded back. Brian walked me to our old bed and made love to me for the first time as my husband. We collapsed in exhaustion together and lay there, my head on his chest, his arms around me, just enjoying the new level of intimacy our marriage had brought to sex.

"Brian" I finally said "Do you miss this place?"

He looked at me and nodded "Of course"

"I have an idea…." I paused

He stared at me silently waiting for me to elaborate.

"I love Britin" I started "I know you bought it because you wanted me to have the house of my dreams but sometimes it doesn't feel like us exactly."

"Do you want to redecorate?" He offered.

"No" he was missing my point "What if we remodeled this place and lived here again?"

"Justin" he smiled at me "this place isn't big enough for a family. Gus needs a room, where would you put a nursery…."

"You're right, the loft isn't big enough, but if we combined the second and third floors…."

"Are you serious?" he asked "I thought you hated living here"

"I didn't hate it and you loved it" I clarified. "You'd be close to work and Gus. I'd see more of you since your commute would be next to nothing. Plus I will be able to stay involved with the gallery after the baby comes"

Brian looked ecstatic. "Really?" he asked again "You would do that? That is a fucking unbelievable idea Sunshine"


	7. Chapter 7

**Two Years Later**

Brian

"Da-da Da-da Da-da"

I open my eyes looking around for Justin first, then at the clock. _Holy Christ, again? Its three-thirty a.m._ I pull a pillow over my face.

I close my eyes again, willing myself to get up when Justin appears from the bathroom. "Go back to sleep" he says gently. "I'll get her".

I don't argue. The baby monitor is on Justin's side of the bed and I'm too tired to get up and switch it off so I listen to their conversation.

"Pa-pa" Nora calls out when Justin enters the room "Da-da" she calls again.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" he says quietly stifling a yawn "Daddy's still sleeping"

"Da-da" she says again this time starting to fuss. "Shine" she says in her baby talk.

That's my cue, I get up and pull on some sweatpants and head to the nursery. I look in on Justin smiling "Sorry I tried" he says "I'll go get a bottle"

"Yeah only skip the milk bring the Beam" I joke.

"That's ok, come here baby girl" I say as I take her from Justin's arm. He gets up so I can sit down with her in the rocking chair. I hold her close, her blond hair a mess of curls; she twirls her hair with one hand and sucks her other thumb. I rock her and sing:

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy, when skies are grey_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

Justin returns offering her the bottle, she finally closes her eyes as I continue to rock her back to sleep, practically in a sleep deprived stupor myself.

I must have dozed off holding Nora; Justin wakes me by lifting her out of my arms and placing her back in her crib. I tip-toe over to him standing behind him as he watches our daughter sleep, placing my hand on his arm; I lean over to him, kissing him, and whispered "Happy 2nd Anniversary my love" he smiles placing his hand over mine.

"Now we're going back to bed." I insist pulling him away from our angelic sleeping daughter.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

Relief set in when Nora woke up and I discover it was eight-thirty, _much more respectable_. I wished I had time to give Brian a proper anniversary wake up; however, I left him sleeping in our bed figuring he would appreciate the gesture more after Nora's rough night. Last night was an enigma, at almost nine months, Nora rarely woke up in the middle of the night anymore but she was up and down all night last night. I was somewhat worried she was getting sick. I took her upstairs and fed her breakfast. We headed into the family room as I placed her on the floor under her favorite play gym.

I gave Debbie a call. She assured me it was probably just a new growth spurt causing her to be hungry in the middle of the night and totally normal. Debbie was a god-send of parental advice but I always missed my mom most when I talked to her about Nora.

I scooped Nora up from the floor, cuddling her and playing with her and one of her toys that lit up and played a song when you pushed it. Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was getting close to ten. I carried her back down the stairs to her room. Picking out some purple striped leggings and a purple shirt that says "Daddy's Girl", I wrestled a new diaper and her outfit on her. I brushed her golden blonde hair that was the exact shade of mine; wondering where the curls came from. No one in my family had curly hair; must be on the donor's side.

"Where's my big girl?" I hear Molly calling from the hallway.

"Shh" I tell her "Rough night, Brian's still sleeping. You picked a good night to stay at Mark's place"

"Oh sorry" she whispers "Come to Aunt Molly, Eleanor"

I smiled, Molly was the only one that still used her full name. Brian fell in love with the name Eleanor on our honeymoon; when we discovered it meant "sun ray"; he was convinced it was meant to be. I thought it didn't really suit a baby, so we settled on Nora for a nickname.

"She'll probably be cranky" I warn "You still want to take her today?"

"Of course" she says in a baby voice to Nora who's smiling brightly "I can't get enough of my sweet little angel"

"I really don't mind. I miss her like crazy during the school year, I need my fix during the summer" she reassured me returning to a normal voice "By the way, Happy Anniversary" she offers kissing my cheek.

I run through her schedule with Molly; she humors me by listening to information she is already well aware of. "I got to go" she finally complains "Mark's waiting for me"

"Ok, bye sweetheart" I said kissing Nora on the cheek "Papa loves you"

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

Justin crawled back in bed with me, his room-temperature skin penetrating the warm cocoon of covers I was enjoying. He kissed me awake gently.

"Where's the baby" I grumble barely awake.

"Molly took her out for the day" Justin explained before kissing me more firmly.

"Brian" he said grabbing the back of my head and darting his tongue in my mouth "I don't want to talk about the baby right now" he moved my hand to his hard-on letting me know what he had in mind.

"I think I can manage that" I whispered stroking him, while kissing him slowly, sensually.

"Brian" he says between kisses "It's our anniversary…"

I start running my tongue down his torso

He's still talking "…. and we are alone in the house for the first time in like six months…"

I take his nipple in my mouth, teasing it with my tongue, eliciting a faint moan.

Yet he still continues "we haven't had sex in like three days…."

I look up at him a bit irritated "Don't you see I am trying to rectify that?"

Finally he makes his point with a cocky smile "do you really want to make love slowly in our bed which we can do anytime; or would you like to fuck me on every surface of this house?"

"I see your point" grabbing him and pulling him out of bed taking him upstairs to the main living area.

I position him against one of the beams in the loft space. Removing his t-shirt and sweatpants; I lift his arms above his head and hold him pinned to the beam. "Is this more what you had in mind?" I say grinding my dick on him so he can feel how hot he makes me.

"Yeah, I want you" he beckons.

"You want me to fuck you?" I ask seductively "You want me to come inside your tight little ass?" I continue to hold his wrists pinned above his head with one arm and use the other to stoke his cock, pushing my cock into position.

"Yes, do it!" he says his face heavy with desire.

"Say it" I command, spanking his exposed ass.

"Fuck me Brian" he cries out "Fuck me hard"

I enter him forcefully, thrusting into him with primal urgency, the sounds of ecstasy coming out of my lover only serving to encourage me. _Oh fuck yes, that's it, don't stop. _Justin lets out a familiar grunt signaling his orgasm but I am far from ready for this to be over.

I give him a minute to catch his breath, just enough time to walk him over to the couch, putting him on his knees and bending him over, I continue ramming him, the change letting me enter him deeper than before. This being one of our favorite positions, we find our rhythm quickly allowing me to indulge my other desires: grabbing a hand full of his silky hair and occasionally smacking his ass.

The rhythmic smacking of our skin together is broken only by the words of encouragement we feed each other: _fuck me; your ass is so tight; you feel so good; don't stop. _

I look up briefly and can see our reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall. I observe Justin reach down, stoking himself, timing each movement with my thrusts. I stare at his reflection in the mirror: his face in a trance, his beautiful hard cock, and his perfect slim practically hairless body. Combined with the touch of his silky skin against mine and I know I can't hold back anymore, I grab Justin's hips tightly, giving him a warning. He braces himself as I pump furiously, releasing streams of hot liquid into him. After I am done; I turn Justin around sinking my mouth around his still unfulfilled, throbbing cock eliciting his second climax of the day.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

I sank in exhaustion back in our bed. "That was fun" I offered as Brian climbed in after stopping to light a cigarette.

"It's been way to long since I fucked your brains out" he laughed acknowledging just how much life had changed "I was starting to feel like we were turning into a couple of Stepford fags."

"Heaven forbid" I said "Well just so you know this daddy, still needs his daddy" I said climbing on top of him, straddling him, reaching around to see if I could get another rise out of him.

"Again? Already?" he laughed "What are you seventeen again all of a sudden?"

"I'm sorry" I offered not apologetically, slapping my semi-hard dick on his stomach to show him I could still get it up "I thought I married Brian _fucking_ Kinney! The hottest stud on Liberty Avenue"

"Well it's finally happened Sunshine" he looked dejected "You wore me out"

"I always knew our twelve-year age difference would catch up to me eventually" I joked, climbing off of him and moving his cigarette to the ashtray on the bedside table.

"It's lucky for me that I enjoy your ass as much as I enjoy your cock" I teased rolling him over.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

After Justin took his turn fucking my brains out, we both fell asleep recovering from the sleepless night and the hours of sex. It was almost two before we made our way to the shower to get ready for the day. Justin had called to check on Nora before joining me in our shower.

"She's fine" he reported "she's still taking her nap"

"What time is Daphne coming over?" I asked soaping his chest.

"Around six" he answered turning around so I could wash his back "our reservations are for seven. She said she had a surprise for us"

"I've had enough surprises from Daphne" I joked. "I'll never recover from seeing Nora be born; I was never so glad to have missed Gus's actual birth"

"I'll admit even though technically I have seen hers before" he shuttered referring to the time he took Daphne's virginity "vaginas are always disturbing; thank God we aren't lesbians or worse, straight"

"Well let's just hope Daphne can help Nora on that topic when the time comes" I said half-joking still a little freaked out that we were attempting to raise a girl.

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

After showering and dressing, I headed downstairs to check on the gallery. I'm surprised to see Gus sitting at the reception desk drawing on a sketch pad. "Hi Pop" he said barely looking up. He looks more like Brian everyday.

I kissed the top of his head "Hey Gus, this is a nice surprise!" I peeked over his shoulder "that's really good. Your shading is definitely getting better".

"Thanks, that's what mom says too" he laughed.

Lindsay appears from the back office, "What does mom say?"

"That his shading is getting better" I explained "How's it going Linz?"

"Pretty busy morning actually. Tom was back in; he's looking for a few pieces for the new office" she said pointing to the large canvas on the back wall "he loves this one but he wanted to measure first".

Of course, I thought, Tom Engel was a big collector of my work but he was a selective buyer, it wasn't unusual for him to come back repeatedly before making a purchase. "You have the patience of a saint" I told Lindsay.

"Hey Gus" Lindsay said smiling "show Pop your sketches from class yesterday"

Gus groaned before flipping pages in his sketch pad and handing it to me reluctantly. I glanced down at the page; there were six small portraits, all an image of the same girl. "I'm going upstairs to say hi to Dad" he said embarrassed.

I looked at Lindsay "who's the girl?" I gawked at her.

She let out a loud laugh, "April", she answered "Cute huh?"

"Well the drawings are good" I answered "Does he…?"

"Like her? Oh yes! He's completely smitten" she interrupted excitedly "Mel saw him after school with her. She said the flirting was going both ways."

"Well holy shit, Gus is straight!" I laughed "I did not see that coming; did you?"

She shook her head no. "We did our best; we gave him four gay parents but the heart wants what the heart wants"

We both looked at each other and said at the same time "Brian's going to freak"

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I had just opened a juice for Gus when Justin returned to the loft. "Hey Gus, your mom's waiting for you. She's ready to go" he called.

"Okay" he said hopping off the chair and grabbing his juice. "See you later Dad" he hugged me "Bye Pop" he called after Justin before disappearing downstairs.

"Did he tell you?" Justin asked like a cat that swallowed the canary.

"Tell me what?" I said clueless "Did he make the travel team for soccer?" I guessed.

"No he has his first crush…" Justin spit out "…on a girl" he finished looking at me for a reaction.

"What? No way" I said shrugging "he just hasn't met the right boy yet".

"Brian" he laughed "you need to start coming to terms with Gus possibly being straight".

I sighed "The truth is, I've suspected for a while. I was just hoping that I would have had more of an influence. I blame the munchers"

Justin laughed, kissing me. "Yeah, based on early judging, I think J.R. is headed for hetero-ville too. Lindz and Mel are 0-2"

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

"Hey Daphne" I welcomed my oldest friend into the house with a warm hug and a kiss.

"Hey Jus" she said "Where's my girl?"

"Yeah, I see where I fall on the priority list" I laughed as she pushed her way passed me to scoop Nora out of her swing to hug her.

"Come here baby girl" Daphne coo's at her "How's my angel?"

She carries Nora back to join me in the kitchen as I prepare her bottle. "How's she doing on the new formula?" she asked concerned.

"Fine" I said "Don't beat yourself up Daphne, you couldn't pump forever, we understood"

"I know" she said "I was really hoping I could have made it a year"

Daphne had so generously supplied us with her breast milk for the first seven months of Nora's life. She went way above and beyond surrogate expectations but she insisted it was better for her.

"So you excited for your anniversary dinner?" she asked "Where is Brian anyway?"

"He's still downstairs getting ready" I answered her "It will be nice to have a night out. It's been a bigger adjustment than we thought"

She laughed "I bet" taking Nora's bottle from me and taking her over to the couch to feed her.

"I can't believe this child came out of me. She's getting so big" she said gazing at her. "Her skin's so fair" she remarked rubbing her arm with her finger.

"Do you remember that nurse in the delivery?" I laughed "She was confused; how such a fair-skinned, blond child had been born to you".

"I know, even after Brian told her we used a donor egg, she looked completely perplexed" Daphne smiled "You'd think they would have seen it before by now"

"Yeah, but judging by the trouble we ran into with her birth certificate, there's still a lot of resistance to gay parents" I sighed recalling how the hospital insisted on listing Daphne and I as parents and refusing to list Taylor-Kinney as her last name.

She sat Nora up on her shoulder to burp her; just then Brian walked upstairs wearing a fitted grey shirt and black pants.

"Wow Brian" I called out "You look hot babe" I approached him giving him a deep kiss.

"Thanks you too but thanks to you my ass and my cock are sore" he said oblivious to our company.

Daphne cleared her throat and I laughed and smiled as Brian cringed that she had overheard his comment. "Sorry Daphne" he called loudly "When did you get here?" he said chiding me for not warning him.

"Sorry" I mouthed to Brian.

"That's okay" she reassured him "I'm glad you enjoyed your afternoon alone together"

"Are you ready to go?" he asked me "We're going to miss our reservation"

"Wait" Daphne called "Before you go, I have a surprise" she said putting Nora back in her swing.

"What is it?" I asked.

She took a legal size manila envelope out of her bag and handed it to Brian.

"Oh my God" he said looking through the papers before hugging her tightly.

"Mel asked me to give it to you today" Daphne said excitedly almost crying.

"What, what is it?" I asked.

Brian handed me the paperwork I flipped through the documents not really understanding what I was looking at until I got to the last page. It was Nora's amended birth certificate. On it our daughter's name was listed as Eleanor Jennifer Taylor-Kinney and listed as her parents: Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor-Kinney.

I hugged Brian secure in the thought that Nora was officially, legally our daughter.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

I escorted Justin into the restaurant.

The hostess asked for his name "Kinney" Justin answered her. "We have a reservation"

"Oh yes, I see" she smiled "Happy Anniversary gentlemen. Right this way"

Justin looked at me confused that she knew it was our anniversary as we followed her to our table. Just as I requested we had a private table in the back. On the table were a dozen red roses I had ordered earlier. The hostess stepped aside so I could pull Justin's seat out. She in turn pulled out mine.

"We've been curious about the lucky recipient since they arrived" she remarked gesturing to the flowers that Justin was admiring and placing our napkins in our laps "wish my husband would plan romantic surprises for me" she winked at me. "Can I offer you gentlemen something to drink?"

I ordered a bottle of wine for us and took Justin's hand running my finger over his wedding band. He looked shocked.

"You bought me flowers?" he said flashing his thousand watt smile. "I can't believe it. They're beautiful"

"So are you" I said making him blush slightly.

"You're being awfully cheesy tonight" he said.

"I prefer ridiculously romantic" I said kissing his hand.

"Well I love this side of you" he said, leaning across the table to kiss me "I love you"

As we sipped our wine, waiting for the first course to arrive I caught a waiter standing in my peripheral vision trying to catch Justin's eye. I chuckled a little "You've got an admirer" I said interrupting him.

"Really?" he asked not turning to look. "Where?"

"The hot waiter in the corner" I told him "he looks familiar. I think I've seen him at Babylon."

"That's pretty obnoxious, cruising me when I'm on a date with my husband" feigning disgust, not really able to hide his enjoyment of the situation.

"Enjoy it while it last Sunshine" I added jealous that I had the pleasure less and less these days.

"Come on Brian, you're still so hot" he comforted me "plus even if they don't want you for your body, all the twinks will still want you for your bank account" he teased.

"I'm really only concerned about one twink wanting me for my body" I teased.

"Well considering I will be thirty in a few months; I'm getting a little old to be considered a twink but I still love your body" Justin said quietly "I have no complaints except maybe that we don't have sex enough since Nora was born"

"Well I warned you things would change" I cautioned him smiling.

"Do you have any regrets?" he asked shifting the conversation to a more serious tone.

I thought about his question and recalled Lindsay's words to me "_Once you see your child, you will be instantly in love but because this time you will be bringing that child into the world with the person you love it will be even more special, more meaningful."_

"Justin" I said "I don't do regrets"

* * *

><p><span>Justin<span>

"That was the most amazing dinner!" I gushed carrying my roses back to the car as we left the restaurant. I was floating on air.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it" Brian said wrapping his arm around me and kissing me on the cheek while we walked.

"Are you sure you don't want to go out tonight? We could fuck in public for old time's sake." I offered thinking Brian might appreciate that celebration more. "I can ask Daph if she can stay"

"The only place I'm interested in going is home" he said "you wore me out today."

As we entered our building I noticed the light was on in the gallery. "Brian" I pointed to the light coming through the glass door. "Lindsay forgot to turn the light off today, that's not like her".

We opened the door to the gallery. "SURPRISE!" screamed a mass of people. I could tell by the look on Brian's face that he was in on it. We were greeted with warm hugs and kisses from practically everyone we knew.

The party was wonderful; even Daphne joined us after Nora went to bed leaving strict orders to Gus to call her if she woke up. I was in mid conversation with Michael when the music changed suddenly. Brian walked over and grabbed my hand, leading me into the middle of the room as the conversation died down low enough for me to hear the song.

_**You can dance-every dance with the guy  
>Who gives you the eye, let him hold you tight<br>You can smile-every smile for the man  
>Who held your hand neath the pale moon light<br>But don't forget who's takin' you home  
>And in whose arms you're gonna be<br>So darlin' save the last dance for me**_

We danced in front of all of our friends and family. Brian, looking sexy as ever, guided me around the floor. We never broke eye contact and I couldn't stop smiling.

* * *

><p><span>Brian<span>

"So was it all you hoped for?" I asked Justin as we returned to the loft.

"And more" he said "almost impossible to believe that you planned it"

'Well I have a lot of years of romantic gestures to make up for" I said kissing him.

"Brian" Justin said holding my chin looking at my lovingly "As much as I love the flowers and surprises. You know I don't really need them anymore. I know you love me. You don't have anything to prove to me"

"That's not the only reason I do them" I clarified. Justin looked skeptical.

"Trust me" I said pouring us two glasses of whiskey and handing a glass to him. "No one is more surprised than me…" we toasted and drank the shots. "…but I do them for me; I do them to see the look on your face. That look makes me happy."

"I don't have a look" he protested. I just laughed.

"I'm gonna go check on Nora" he said kissing me "Meet me in bed?"

I nodded, pouring another glass of whiskey and drinking it down quickly. I picked up Nora's birth certificate on the counter and stared at it. I can't believe she's finally mine. An overwhelming swell of emotion built up in me; I couldn't believe what a life I have now. I never imagined it would be like this.

I walked downstairs to our bedroom but Justin wasn't there. I waited for a few minutes and went to find him. I found him in the nursery staring down at Nora. An idyllic smile on his face; his eyes filled with love; his expression a mixture of pride and awe. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. "That's the look" I whispered.

**The End**

**Thanks for Reading! Please comment if you enjoyed!**


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